bhenry86;83362 said:
I agree that saying "No" would be a good subject for the Road to Black Belt series - not only why to say "No" (you have captured and processed a complete inventory of Next Actions and Projects so the new request can be compared to existing commitments), but also how to say "No" (diplomatically, Someday/Maybe) and what happens when you say "No" (margins, and psychic clear space, appear in your life).
In the Attention webinar, I appreciated the gritty personal details from both you, Kelly, and Meg. Real, on-the-front-lines stuff that eliminates some of that feeling that each of us are alone. We are all alone in this ... together.
Bill Henry
Honolulu, HI
Most of the people I have met, and I include myself, fail to say no not because they are not organised or systematically in a position to be able to say no but from another pressure that is acting upon them.
My own inability to say know has its root in the fact i dont feel I can say no - usually that feeling comes from 2 roots: either the pressure is an excess of negative consequences I feel will result from saying no - eg, loss of job, loss of self image, loss of reputation and such like; and then because I really can't say no - which may actually just be that I feel I cant say no but to me it feels like no is not an option.
I found that once I identified why I was failing to say no I was well on the way to being able to.
As for delivering the no, thats a personal thing, but my approach has been to first get information on what is being asked in more detail, show an interest in the item; which helps the person asking feel valued and helps me truely decide whether i can do it.
eg:
referall: Les can you take a new client?
well I am pretty busy, what do they need?
referall: its a lactose intolerant preganant lady with stage 3 kidney disease,
I am really sorry I havent got the time to give her the attention she needs I am going to have to pass
is a lot better than - sorry I am way to busy right now - but also it could have been
referall: Les can you take a new client?
well I am pretty busy, what do they need?
referall: simple diabetes blood glucose control client
Send over the details and if its simple I can handle em no problem
Again better than a no because I could actually do a simple client ... of course without knowing where I was up to and being organised I couldnt know my ability to take anyone on and could easily turn work away, or take work on and not do my best job which is bad for my reputation.
Although I bet the David Co coaches know how to deliver a no gracefully and could coach on it - not sure its in the GTD remit per se though
