What is a reasonable amount of time to spend at work...

[jkgrossi]

I guess it all depends on what your definition of "successful" is.

To me, spending 12 hours a day in a coma (that's pretty much what I equate my day to) isn't successful.

If you define "successful" in financial terms, you could say I've succeded in generating a pretty large income, having a nice big house and driving a fancy car.

The thing is, I don't have time to spend the $$, or it's being spent on a car that sits in the parking lot 12 hours a day, or on a house that I get to see on the weekends.

What haven't succeded in is eating dinner with my wife and child on a daily basis, waking up each (or any) day with a smile on my face, spending quality time with my kid, or enjoying all of the things that my financially rewarding job has afforded me.

 

[Bunabayashi]

Re: "Bliss"

I like drinking beer and reading. Dont think I'll ever be financially rewarded if I pursue them full time though. Do what you have to - not necessarily what you want to or love to do.

I may just be a cynic, but I'm more into the power of negative thinking" approach. The key to success is doing what you'd rather not. Successful people do what unsuccessful people dont.

I'd rather not have to do GTD, but its the best system I've found.

Sounds like you might make an excellent brewery qc leader, and/or a literary agent. :wink:

Dave
:roll:

 

[tallmarvin]

This is a timely thread. Was just considering many of the same issues with my work. At 37, projecting 20-25 more years of this curent work is a recipe for sheer lunacy. Being numb is no way to go through life. Getting clarity on what is truly desired in one's life takes courage...the courage to listen to the heart, first of all, and the larger courage to take the actions necessary to make the needed changes. Dollars alone won't do it for me.

 

[jkgrossi]

Tallmarvin,

That's exactly what put this into perspective for me - the fact that I couldn't see keeping this up for another 20-25 years without loosing my sanity.

What I did was try and picture what my life would be like when I'm 60 - what would my relationships with my family be like, my friends, etc. I didn't like what I envisioned. There's a saying that goes, "On their death beds, no reasonable person would say that they wish they had spent more time at the office". Looking back at your life from that point, I'm willing to bet that most of us would have like to have spent more time with our loved ones, got to know our children better, etc. I don't think anyone would say they wish that when they were at the clearing at the end of the path they had more money in their pockets...

I think that there is a line from a Toby Keith song that goes, "I wouldn't break my back for a million bucks that I can't take to my grave..."

 

[jkgrossi]

Tallmarvin,

That's exactly what put this into perspective for me - the fact that I couldn't see keeping this up for another 20-25 years without loosing my sanity.

What I did was try and picture what my life would be like when I'm 60 - what would my relationships with my family be like, my friends, etc. I didn't like what I envisioned. There's a saying that goes, "On their death beds, no reasonable person would say that they wish they had spent more time at the office". Looking back at your life from that point, I'm willing to bet that most of us would have like to have spent more time with our loved ones, got to know our children better, etc. I don't think anyone would say they wish that when they were at the clearing at the end of the path they had more money in their pockets...

I think that there is a line from a Toby Keith song that goes, "I wouldn't break my back for a million bucks that I can't take to my grave..."

 

[gtdatlast]

Just want to add my two cents to this conversation. My heart goes out to you as you try and balance your carreer and your family life. It sounds like you are on the right track. If you don't want to be 60 years old and saying I wish I spent more time with my family, then now is the time to make sure that doesn't happen. Every day wake up and ask yourself what you can do today to make sure that at 60 you can say you are happy with the choices you have made. By the way, Covey wrote another book called 7 Habits of Successful Families. It makes a good read.

About eighteen years ago, I announced to my husband that we needed a divorce. I said that I could not be a full time mother, a full time wife and a full time CPA. Since I could not get rid of my son and I could not quit my job, my husband would have to go!

While I didn't get rid of my children or my husband or my job, we made some very positive changes. One of the biggest was the money issue. It didn't seem possible to bring in any less money than we were. We were already living on the edge. But after careful consideration, we realized that everyone we knew lived on the edge. It's just that everyone's edges were at a different level. We just decided to lower the edge we lived on. At least on a lower edge, you don't have so far to fall if things don't work out.

Next month we will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. Our son is in college and our daughter is in high school. We are very fortunate to have spent a lot of quality time with our children and each other. I'm not 60 yet, but almost 50 and I can say, I am happy with our choices we have made. Family comes first!

Good luck as you search for answers. I know the right opportunity is out there just waiting to meet up with you.

 

[Anonymous]

Long working hours

Long working hours are not healthy, even if you love your work.

I think that, if you want really to change , some heavy thinking will be necessary, and some help.
Read Elaine st James books, she will help you to see what is really important in your life.
With Flylady.net you will understand how useful some routines are.
And GTD, of course.
GTD can help a lot, those long hours will be long but not so tiring. And with your daily life under control, you can think at the 50000 feet level .
This will not happen in a few weeks , it may take more than a year, but you should never give up . Your life can always be better than is is now.