Helpful tool for GTD as a couple

Hi there,

My wife and I are more and more GTD-addicts (I am used to the method for some years now, and she's getting more and more convinced about the efficiency of the method!), and we are facing an issue probably linked to the tool we are using.
Indeed, for now, we mainly use Trello boards and lists. We have 3 "spaces":
1) My Trello boards are private and my own staff, my wife cannot access them.
2) Her Trello boards are almost empty, as the ones she really use are in fact "our" boards.
3) The shared "next action" board is, indeed, the one she mainly use. And from the "shopping list", we have added lists and lists and, finally, even an inbox to perform our GTD "common" collect (i.e. when we have an idea together, we note it here; when she has an idea, she notes it here).
This is very useful, as many lists are shared. The "shopping list" is a very good example. As soon as one of us discovers something is missing, he puts it in the list. And when one of us goes for shopping, we always know the list is valid. I don't even have a "shopping list" in my boards.
However, some lists are now in double. For example "Birthday ideas" (I know this is not a "Next action"). I have kept my list in my personal space (because it was there before, but also because there are ideas for her birthday too!), and we have a shared list too. Problem.

I think I remember sharing in this way GTD lists is not recommanded by David Allen, and I can even understand how important this is to keep lists and todos personal, our own staff. But I cannot figure out how to manage "next actions" that she or I can do equally, or lists that interest both of us.

I guess having only 2 personal boards would be recommended, and our system should allow us to know that such "next action" is private or that such "next action" is "shared" (i.e. in our both spaces). We should also be able to know, as soon as a "shared action" has been done, that it has been done, and it should appear this way (or even automatically disappear) from our personal "todo" board. Trello does not allow us to do this. So I guess this is more a question of tool here, and this is why I'm posting this situation in this forum.
But maybe my approach is not even good, and advices become require to help us go on with this.

I hope I was clear enough, and that maybe some of you shared the same issue and found the good solutions/tools.

Thanks a lot for the time you may spend to help me on this!

Cheers,
Christophe (from France, sorry for the probable mistakes in my English)
 

TesTeq

Registered
However, some lists are now in double. For example "Birthday ideas" (I know this is not a "Next action"). I have kept my list in my personal space (because it was there before, but also because there are ideas for her birthday too!), and we have a shared list too. Problem.
@christophe.portier To remove duplication use the "Birthday ideas" shared list for all your birthday ideas except for birthday ideas for your wife and for other people (if any) that she shouldn't know about (for example birthday ideas for your secret informant if you're an undercover agent). ;) For these purposes use your private "Top secret birthday ideas" list.
 
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Gardener

Registered
On the Birthday Ideas issue, I would suggest making the shared list the master, and leaving only "Ideas for (Wife)'s Birthday" in your private lists.

And I would generalize that--if you both use a list, and there's no secrecy factor, put that information only in the shared space. If there is a secrecy factor, wall off only the secret information from the main shared list. That should reduce, though not necessarily eliminate, duplication.

In my case, I keep my own stuff in OmniFocus (at least I do now--I've used and not-used, used and not-used OmniFocus, but I think I've finally worked out my issues with it) but shared lists are on Apple's Reminders.

I don't reallly regard these lists as Next Action lists, but as project support materials, but that's probably not a terribly relevant distinction in this discussion.
 
Thanks for your answers!
However this makes a lot of lists in double. Example: "To do at home". Many things can be done by my wife and I while I can also do them. And some things can only be done by me, or even needs to be done by me without my wife knows it (example: clean the dishwasher to make her the suprise - yes, this can be a good surprise - and washing a dishwasher needs to be done from time to time ^^). So I would need to have both a shared and a private "To do at home" lists. And to check both of them when I have some time at home to pick-up the right action depending context, etc.
Well, with Trello, such 2 lists is not easy to manage.
Would OmniFocus help for this?
I guess Apple's Reminders are based on calendars, so they wouldn't fit this concept of "Next action" based on context, without any due date.

Any advice on an appropriate tool for such a requirement?
And/Or on another way to manage such a situation?

I guess I'm not the first GTDer who finally converted his partner in life!! ;)

Thanks for your help guys.

Cheers
 

Gardener

Registered
I don't really see any harm in having a 'do at home' list that contains some items that only you can do and some items that only your wife can do. In the scenarios discussed, I'd have:

- Do at Home (shared)
- Birthdays (shared)
- Surprises for Wife (your private list)

It's not perfect, no, but I'm assuming that the number of secret items is fairly small.
 
You are right Garender, we'll try this way (continuing our Trello lists as all our staff is there) and see the result.
I'll keep this post updated in some time to let other people in our situation know.
Thanks for your kind help gentle·wo·men!
 

mcogilvie

Registered
Thanks for your answers!
However this makes a lot of lists in double. Example: "To do at home". Many things can be done by my wife and I while I can also do them. And some things can only be done by me, or even needs to be done by me without my wife knows it (example: clean the dishwasher to make her the suprise - yes, this can be a good surprise - and washing a dishwasher needs to be done from time to time ^^). So I would need to have both a shared and a private "To do at home" lists. And to check both of them when I have some time at home to pick-up the right action depending context, etc.
Well, with Trello, such 2 lists is not easy to manage.
Would OmniFocus help for this?
I guess Apple's Reminders are based on calendars, so they wouldn't fit this concept of "Next action" based on context, without any due date.

Any advice on an appropriate tool for such a requirement?
And/Or on another way to manage such a situation?

I guess I'm not the first GTDer who finally converted his partner in life!! ;)

Thanks for your help guys.

Cheers
Apple Reminders is not “based on calendars”. It does have both optional due dates and due times. It also has shared lists with assignment, so that items on a list shared with your wife can be assigned to one or the other, and will show a small picture of the person assigned. I’m not particularly endorsing that approach, but the functionality is there.

My experience with shared lists is that: a) Shared next action lists don’t work very well- it’s the old problem of who’s got the ball. b) Things like shared shopping lists work ok, but usually one person is “delegating” to the other. Both add to the lists, but one person is the usual shopper, with occasional handoffs: “Can you stop at the store on your way home?” c) Some of your lists are probably agenda items for you and your wife to discuss (“Birthday presents”), while others are joint someday/maybe lists (“2nd honeymoon in Antarctica“). Having clarity on what each list is for is more important than the tool used.
 
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