How can I stay focus and stay off of non productive websites

[whochrisporter]

Another problem may be lack of physical exercise. Sitting all day/night at a computer, walking to the car or class where you only sit more, really don't add up to much. The body (and mind, in my opinion) can get atrophied.

Yes I do lack a lot of exercise. Trying to find time and remember to exercise is almost as worst as me trying to remember to do my weekly review, or empty my inbox. I just have to get into a good habit of at least doing 15 minutes a day. I saw this site called 100 push up: http://hundredpushups.com/

I might get on that, and do other exercise for at least 15 minutes every few days...then work my way up...every other day...increase the time to 20 minutes and so on...

 

[Brent]

If this has been going on since you were 13, go see a doctor.

Seriously. Get a thorough medical exam. Ask your doctor specifically about these problems.

 

[Linada]

I have to agree with Brent. If you can pinpoint a problem starting like that, get it checked. Unfortunately puberty can be a trigger for some tricky stuff, so by all means get it checked out.
Can you see your therapist again soon? He should be able to comment on possible ADD or refer you.
I think it's really important that you figure out why you get so distracted, irrespective of any workarounds. In my humble lay opinion i am still betting on some sort of fatigue issue, simply because you sound so much like me.

As for things that may help in the meantime:
A timer is probably not a bad idea. Be flexible with the time though. Try 15, 10, 5 or even just 2 minutes at a time.
Environment. Of course all the stuff about office distractions applies. Your body can be a distraction as well. Make sure you are comfy and not too hungry or thirsty. A grumbling stomach can give your brain the opportunity to go off track.
As for the internet, try deleting the bookmarks or at least hiding them in a few sub folder. The more time you have to spend getting there the more chance to catch yourself.
A trick that i often use myself is to put a sticker on the side of my screen. usually a note, but it could be something as simple as a red dot. Just something to remind you to check yourself.
As for 'silly' mistakes, make a checklist of stuff you often forget to do or do wrong. Review it several times a day, maybe during one of the mini breaks instead of surfing. Maybe even make it a webpage and put it as a prominent bookmark.

I hope some of this if of use

 

[JohnV474]

Personal reply

Whochrisporter,

I can sympathize with your situation, as a similar situation has been one of the largest struggles of my life. I made it through school and work largely due to my intellectual prowess--high test scores, low grades, know what I mean?

Now that I work for myself also, I have had to come face-to-face with the issue you describe. I dealt with taking one step forward and two steps back financially, and have had to deal with creditors calling 10x a day, teetering on bankruptcy, etc. I can relate to the overwhelming feelings.

I encourage you to think about this as the same problem that many people that work for themselves face, and that is undeveloped discipline. I'm not putting you down in saying this. It is not something we are really trained to do and so you have to figure it out along the way. That is the challenge!

If you were to think of the ideal scenario, you would not require external restraints (PC timers, people yelling, etc.). You would simply, and calmly, move from one task that you need to do, to another. (That being said, I think that program that chimes every 15 minutes as a reminder to be accountable for what you are doing seems like a great temporary training aid).

One thing you do NOT need to do is to figure out WHY you don't do what you want to. You can not always control how you feel. What you CAN control is your behavior, no matter how you feel. You can go rake leaves whether you are happy or sad, for instance. What you will find is that doing even one step of proper behavior will help you build up 'momentum'. This is why many people suggest that, if you don't want to do something, to force yourself to get started for even just 5 minutes.

If you are like me, then you have little difficulty spending minutes or hours on various websites, whether they be facebook or youtube or drudgerport or whatever. This is an indicator that you do not have an impediment to actually concentrating, but instead you simply are not behaving how you would like. I would suggest looking at this from a behavioral perspective, not from a psychological perspective. For this reason, I suspect therapy will do more at uncovering problems than resolving them.

Are you using those sites in order to avoid doing something that you dread? Are you on this forum for the same reason? *smile* If you want answers, you can find them. You will find many people offering you advice that will allow you to justify just wallowing in the mire instead of climbing out.

This is one type of problem that I think GTD is good for. If you can get all of your open loops down on paper and you REVIEW them regularly and you keep reminding yourself of how you want to be (outcome focusing), you can do this. Remember how David Allen says to write a newspaper article describing wild success? Until you can imagine yourself in the process of doing and completing a project, it is difficult to figure out how or what steps to take.

You can do this! Lots of people have been through similar situations and it IS TOUGH to change or develop new behavior. Set yourself some very small but measurable goals and knock them out. Build up a little momentum.

I hope I've conveyed what I've been trying to say. My thoughts may get a little disjointed because there is a lot I'd like to share. I will tell you that having the INTERNAL discipline you need and reaching that 'mind like water' state wherein you approach your tasks with calm, clear focus, will make you feel overjoyed and extremely confident, instead of feeling unsure and unsteady.

If I can help in any way, drop me a note.
JohnV474

 

[Gardener]

f you are like me, then you have little difficulty spending minutes or hours on various websites, whether they be facebook or youtube or drudgerport or whatever. This is an indicator that you do not have an impediment to actually concentrating, but instead you simply are not behaving how you would like.

I have to quibble a bit with you on this. I'm not saying that your advice isn't good, but I'm also saying that it's absolutely worth pursuing the possibility that ADHD is a factor here, including possibly pursuing therapy for it. It's _absolutely_ worth going to a doctor - not for deep how-do-you-feel-about-your-mother therapy, but for practical help in dealing with how the ADHD brain works and how to get it to do what you want.

With ADHD, it's very easy to concentrate on what interests you, and very difficult to concentrate on what doesn't. The fact that you can concentrate on what interests you does not necessarily mean that you can concentrate on what doesn't.

Now, I realize that that sounds really obvious, and why should it need a label like ADHD? Of course it's easy to concentrate on what interests you, right?

But my point is that with ADHD, that phenomenon is much, much stronger. When you're interested, it's as if all the world falls away and it's you and the work. And when you're not, it's as if all the world rushes at you, shouting in your ear, pulling your hair, tugging at your clothes, desperately trying to drag you away from the task. Except that "world" that's sabotaging you is in your own mind. But that doesn't mean that you can control it.

I'll suggest a non-ADHD scenario: Think of the last time that you had a really bad cold or flu. Think of all of the distractions - the runny nose, the sneezing, the headache, the sinuses that felt like they were going to blow up, the digestive issues. Now imagine that you had all of those sensations, and you needed to get work done on a very difficult, detailed, task, one that required you to juggle a dozen thoughts at once in order to make progress. I think that it would be a minute-by-minute struggle, a constent repetition of stopping and starting and re-gathering your thoughts, to get any work done.

I would argue that the flu situation and the ADHD situation are similar. Maybe the ADHD person should be able to just push away the distractions and work. And maybe the person with the flu should be able to just push away the physical sensations and work. After all, in the end, they're both just in the mind. But in the end, neither of them can be easily controlled that way.

With ADHD, it's usually not that the work is scarey or horrible. It's _just that it's not interesting_.

Of course "not interesting" isn't a good enough reason not to do the work, and if the person had full control over their focus, they'd do the work anyway. But they don't have that control - that's what ADHD is.

This is why it's worth looking into ADHD and treatment for ADHD - because with treatment, some of that internal distraction can be conquered. That treatment might involve medication, or it might involve learning what tricks and habits have worked for other ADHD people, or it might be a combination of both. It's absolutely worth pursuing.

Gardener

 

[JohnV474]

I appreciate your cointerpoints. I have questioned the need for ADHD treatment in my own life, for example. What I'm encouraging is a paradigm of optimistic confidence in our ability to do instead of a depressed and pessimistic perspective that focuses on our obstacles. Why am I encouraging that? Because it is more useful for getting things done than the contrary.

That being said, I believe there is a genuine illness called ADHD. Many people argue that it has been overdiagnosed and, often, use as a scapegoat to blame for an individual's undesirable behavior. I suspect that there are people who have been treated for it who don't actually have it as well as people who genuinely need it who are not being diagnosed/treated.

I imagine we can agree that, whether a person has ADHD or not, there is a lot that person can individually to do make the best of the circumstances, whether before or after seeing a professional.

Again, thanks for the input.

 

[Linada]

a paradigm of optimistic confidence in our ability to do instead of a depressed and pessimistic perspective that focuses on our obstacles.

Personally i think either of those attitudes is very counterproductive. The first goes with the head through the wall, the second doesn't get anywhere.
Maybe it would more hit the intended effect to call it optimistic focus on obstacles, i.e. problem solving.
You do have to acknowledge and think about the obstacles you encounter. The thinking that it is bad to think about obstacles is something i have encountered very often, and it has never had a very good result.

 

[JohnV474]

Good point.

I agree with what you said, Linada. I didn't express myself very well. I was trying to convey the same sentiment as "tell me all the reasons why you can, not all the reason why you can't". We must acknowledge obstacles and, indeed, embrace them. It just doesn't do us very much good to act as if there is nothing we can do to overcome them. Though not every obstacle can be eliminated or overcome, there is always something we can do.

Thanks for pointing out that detail.

JohnV474

 

[abhay]

I agree with what you said, Linada. I didn't express myself very well. I was trying to convey the same sentiment as "tell me all the reasons why you can, not all the reason why you can't". We must acknowledge obstacles and, indeed, embrace them. It just doesn't do us very much good to act as if there is nothing we can do to overcome them. Though not every obstacle can be eliminated or overcome, there is always something we can do.

Thanks for pointing out that detail.

JohnV474

Would like to agree with John, and perhaps unsuccessfully, I tried to say the same thing in a post in this thread some posts ago. Though not in all cases, envisioning outcomes at all levels and in all areas of life including habits goes a long way. Habits and behaviors can be effectively changed by constantly visualizing and experiencing the positive pictures about yourself, which usually can be done consciously in the form of affirmations, visual, verbal, or otherwise. I was convinced of this by an audio 'Making Change Stick' on gtdconnect, and then I found other resources as well, which are listed in my previous post. Although I am GTDing since about two years, me before august 08 (when I stumbled across this audio) and me after august 08 are very different! I am now pulled by my goals, not pushed by my "duties". Although everybody's mileage may vary, and even if it will not solve all the problems (like overcommitting), affirmations are worth trying.

Regards,
Abhay

 

[BobW]

You might want to try to identify exactly why you are procrastinating. In Getting Things Done, David identifies two possible reasons - you either do not know what your successful outcome really is, or you have not identified the next physical action necessary to move forward. Some other causes for procrastination are perfectionism, fear of failure (and success), and resentment.

The best book I know for describing the causes of and possible solutions for procrastination is "The Now Habit" by Neil Fiore. I would recommend that title to anyone who struggles with procrastination.

I second that recommendation - I finished the book (and of course GTD!), and with the both of them I have found my attitude to work and LIFE has changed profoundly, so much so, in fact, that I sincerely am excited about work. Cool huh!?

Co-incidently I work in a similar creative to you (music production) so I do understand where you are coming from.

I wish you all the best anyway
Bob

 

[whochrisporter]

But my point is that with ADHD, that phenomenon is much, much stronger. When you're interested, it's as if all the world falls away and it's you and the work. And when you're not, it's as if all the world rushes at you, shouting in your ear, pulling your hair, tugging at your clothes, desperately trying to drag you away from the task. Except that "world" that's sabotaging you is in your own mind. But that doesn't mean that you can control it.

O wow, that hit the spot right there.

Like for example, in freelance:

When I begin a project, a project I like, or when developing for a design I'm very proud of, I'm into it, but when the client starts acting an ass, or its low paying, or its a bunch of dumb changes to make my design look ugly/stupid functionality changes, then I get very uninterested, even if I'm getting $1023472942374 or not...lol...

...but when the creative director at my job has to deal with the same thing, he gets it done, no matter what...no distractions, nothing...he just gets it done...and thats how I would like to be..

Another example...When I'm producing music, I cannot be bothered. I'm so into producing music (hiphop) and even when my girlfriend fixes dinner, I get very irritated when she calls me to eat, or when she comes to bother me...I don't even check the internet at all unless I'm looking for some sounds or sampling or something...

very weird

 

[Gardener]

Another example...When I'm producing music, I cannot be bothered. I'm so into producing music (hiphop) and even when my girlfriend fixes dinner, I get very irritated when she calls me to eat, or when she comes to bother me...I don't even check the internet at all unless I'm looking for some sounds or sampling or something...

Yep, everything you say _absolutely_ sounds like ADHD to me. Find a specialist in adult ADHD and start working on it. I really think it'll help.

Gardener

 

[Uni]

I've worked in industries full of ADHD people, and there it's not stigmatized the way it is in less ... in fields where personal disclosure and being a little different is more common than other fields. Nevertheless, people have to produce good work, on time, within constraints, no matter what they do for a living.

So the successful people I know (there are many) take their ADD very seriously, so they can have more real fun, not zombie (mindless, escapist) fun.

They take their medication eventually, they develop discipline in different areas eventually, they learn from other people eventually, and they constantly look for ways to improve. Audible watch or PDA timers, coaches----there are lots of ways to help yourself proceed along the path. It really is a boredom problem, so you gotta learn to redefine boredom and figure out what you really, truly want. Finding out and being who you are will give you the energy and stick-to-it-iveness that's elusive otherwise. Be kind and resist the idea that punishment is the solution. If it hasn't worked by now, it's not going to, for you. Certain lineages of secular Buddhism are popular for facilitating this process, but some people like the scientific approach that borrows heavily from Buddhism and the mystic traditions within every wisdom tradition. Everyone's MMV.

Also successful people with ADD deal with the physical aspects. Burning off energy: even if you're not ADHD, you still probably have excess energy that's not getting burned off as nature intended. (It will drive you nuts faster.) Going for walks near green trees and grass. Meditating for just 5 or 10 minutes at a time: not ON something, just learning not to take your thoughts and impulses seriously. I can't remember more right now but stick with the mainstream magazine (somebody mentioned it above) and places where actual doctors with ADD contribute. As with the 12-step model, don't listen much to people who haven't successfully worked with their ADD. They don't know.

Get enough protein and healthy fats, try pharmaceutical grade fish oil... you'll see the lists. I also agree with the suggestion to consider that it's not the end of the world, millions of people all over the world have the same thing to varying degrees, some self-medicate (as perhaps you did) and some find things that work within their country and culture. The point is, you're trying, you already know how to change your behavior and chemistry successfully, you have access to information and support most people never have. And you're smart enough and have some people skills--again, not everybody does. Use GTD to support your journey, not something to beat yourself up with. And so on.

 

[DanGTD]

Go cold turkey.

"I just want to jump online for a minute" doesn't work. It will almost surely turn into hours of surfing.

 

[whochrisporter]

Ok, had my psych eval yesterday (will have another one in a few weeks), and the psychiatrist said that he ruled out Adult ADHD because I had a decent childhood education (no special classes, etc). He didn't rule out OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

He said I have with an obsession about worrying about things (worrying about if im right or wrong, if I can achieve certain things or not, worrying if I can do the work or not)...

Too much worrying and then I don't complete anything. Like ill worry the whole time, and then when something is due like tomorrow, thats when the procrastination sets in.

My obsessive worrying also makes me make excuses for everything. I worry that if I take responsibility, something bad will happen. He also think I can't trust my system (GTD) and my memory (which I may just have something separate on the on memory thing).

So he has me taking Lexapro for a week to see how everything is going, and check back in a week. He said the medicine should bring down my depression and anxiety and make me worry less.

What does anyone think of that solution

 

[cojo]

Just some thoughts...

I'm not denying the potential presence of a real physical or mental disorder. Be sure to follow up on that, and do whatever is necessary. But I often think that we can "own" disabilities and develop our own customized systems to help overcome obstacles that other people don't have to think about. Try different things - see what works, and what doesn't - and keep doing what's working.

(My own personal demon is depression, and I've developed self-talk, behavioral awareness, and other things that seem to help enormously.)

Try a couple of things that help me:

1. Use a "trigger" word - mine is simply "focus" - to bring you back to task.
2. Commit to doing the task for 5 minutes - often dreading the task is worse than doing it, and getting in there for 5 minutes will often be enough to get you to do more.
3. Schedule Internet time just for surfing the net. Once it's over, it's OVER. "Tomorrow I will surf the net from 3 - 3:30." When you start to surf, remind yourself that it's not your surfing time yet.
4. Commit to making decisions about things. If you get an email, don't just put it aside if you're not sure what to do with it. Make a decision about what action to take. You'll have to eventually anyway.
5. Use any motivation you have to in order to stay productive. I love stickers on calendars and quantifying things (I got 23 things done today! etc.) Tell someone else about your goal if it helps, but if you're already missing external deadlines, I suspect it won't. Use joesgoals.com to track your progress. Whatever it takes!

Software is ok but in the end you are policing yourself. YOU are making decisions. YOU control your time.

Good luck and let us know how this works out!

 

[Gardener]

Re:

"and the psychiatrist said that he ruled out Adult ADHD because I had a decent childhood education (no special classes, etc)"

This does not make sense to me. I've heard of any number of adults who got through school because they were smart enough that they could get away with their lack of focus, but then ran into brick walls in adulthood, when sheer intelligence wasn't enough to let them get by.

I'm not saying that you must have ADHD or that I must be right!! But I don't think that his specific reason makes a lot of sense.

However, it appears that Lexapro is also prescribed for ADHD. So maybe it doesn't matter.

(But I'd still recommend that you read _Driven to Distraction_. Maybe you'll recognize yourself. Or maybe you'll assure yourself that ADHD doesn't fit. Either way, it's a pretty interesting read.)

Gardener

 

[saroccer]

Re:

"and the psychiatrist said that he ruled out Adult ADHD because I had a decent childhood education (no special classes, etc)"

This does not make sense to me. I've heard of any number of adults who got through school because they were smart enough that they could get away with their lack of focus, but then ran into brick walls in adulthood, when sheer intelligence wasn't enough to let them get by.

I'm not saying that you must have ADHD or that I must be right!! But I don't think that his specific reason makes a lot of sense.

However, it appears that Lexapro is also prescribed for ADHD. So maybe it doesn't matter.

(But I'd still recommend that you read _Driven to Distraction_. Maybe you'll recognize yourself. Or maybe you'll assure yourself that ADHD doesn't fit. Either way, it's a pretty interesting read.)

Gardener

I agree with Gardener

I didn't have any problems early education-wise, and neither did my little brother but we both started to have problems in college and for me, during work. I have ADD and am learning how to cope (medicine + habits). I, of course, am not a psychiatrist but please do read the book and try to get a second opinion.

I wonder if anyone has looked into GTD and how it helps people with ADD. I'm trying to get my brother to start it and my counselor thought it was wonderful when I told her a little about it.

 

[sdann]

I went through an ADD situation with a family member. Then we sat down together and read "ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life" by Judith Kolberg & Kathleen Nadeau (2002). It's written by a professional organizer and a psychologist specializing in ADD. Targeted for adults it is very hands-on.

I don't have ADD and I took a lot away from the book. This was a a year or 2 before I started GTD and, skimming through the book, I see it addresses the tickler and splitting things up into "verbs", such as call, write, etc. Otherwise it talks about overcommitting, focusing, procrastination, etc.

 

[kingfu]

I think it might be a good idea for you too start measuring your internet use to make yourself more accountable. "What gets measured gets managed"

A few tools I've found which have helped me are:

RescueTime: A free app that sits on your task bar and logs your internet usage. Auto tags/catagorizes sites (although fully customizable) and produces lots of info.

LeechBlock: A firefox plug in, lets you define how long you can use sites for and what times. For instance you can set it up to only let you go on facebook after 5pm weekdays for 30 mins. It'll block access otherwise to the sites you specify.

TimeTracker: Tiny firefox plug which sits on your status bar and tells you how long you've been online today for.

Pandora.com: Free online radio station which learns your tastes. Stops me from messing around with my personal mp3 collection non stop...can't constantly "skip" tracks.