My boss gave me a task list

[Suelin23]

At a meeting yesterday with the manager of the plant and another senior team leader, my boss gave me a two page typed task list (dated of course!), runs through verbally the inventory of what I have to do, and ends the meeting with the words "I have witnesses!"

I was humiliated. I know he hasn't been happy with my performance, my last performance review he rated me ok but gave me a warning that I had to pull my socks up. Twice he's used team meetings as an opportunity to tell me off about my progress. Now he's upping the pressure stakes by doing it in front of other groups.
I feel too upset to go to work today, although I will probably work from another office today.
Last night I yelled at my kid when I found he wasn't asleep, an overreaction because I was upset at my boss, so then my husband was angry with me and didn't give me any support.
I'm at least 6 months behind in my work and have no idea how to catch up and get things done on time. And it's all getting to crunch time and is all due in the next month or two.

I'm worried he's accumulating evidence of my bad performance by doing the dated task list. I'm wondering if I should start emailing him progress on work, so he knows what I'm doing and leaves me alone. But will he use the emails against me? I know he would print them out.

 

[Vickie]

Wow! Well, if I may be a bit bold here, that certainly doesn't sound like a very functional environment you are working in. Despite a person's performance, no one deserves to be called out like that. Not trying to give you career advice but I would seriously be looking for another place to work if that were me. Maybe I've become a bit spoiled at my place of employment but even when you need to coach someone on their performance, it's done with respect.

You didn't specifiy in your note but are you already a GTD practitioner and have fallen off the wagon or are you new to GTD?

 

[mattsykes]

Agree with the last post. You should try and get very clear in your mind that you can be in control of the situation. When you do that, there are a few outcomes:
- If there genuinely are performance problems, you can 'front up' to them and get a plan to deal with them. If you're not clear what they are (it sounds like your boss is humiliating via symptoms, not attempting to address the root of what his/her problem is), then arrange for a meeting - ideally in a less formal environment, eg over a coffee - to allow you to properly understand what you need to improve
- If it's just that your boss is a twat, then ultimately you have the 'stay/go' decision in your hands. Firstly think through if other people work well with your boss and why/how, and also think about what you would do next. I don't know where in the world you are but certainly in most places the job market is not easy at the moment, so focus on lining up your next job first
- In terms of more broadly how you operate, make sure you've deployed GTD well, so that you know exactly what, where and how you should do things. For things like a long task list - is it all new material, or are these tasks you already know about? If all new tasks, then you and your boss need to be realistic about how much you can get done. If your boss is completely unreasonable about this, then discuss it with their boss or HR

It certainly sounds like a bad spot you're in. Wishing you the best with resolving it!

 

[PeterW]

At a meeting yesterday with the manager of the plant and another senior team leader, my boss gave me a two page typed task list (dated of course!), runs through verbally the inventory of what I have to do, and ends the meeting with the words "I have witnesses!"

I've worked with a manager who was just like this. It's a pathetic way to manage staff and unless this person moves on soon, I would assume that your relationship with him is probably not retrievable and it's not the sort of work environment that you'd want to remain in anyway.

Given that the employment situation in Australia is currently quite good I would suggest you triage the situation at work as much as possible while getting your name out to a few relevant employment agencies, update your LinkedIn profile, get onto SEEK, etc.

Good luck!

 

[mcogilvie]

I'm worried he's accumulating evidence of my bad performance by doing the dated task list. I'm wondering if I should start emailing him progress on work, so he knows what I'm doing and leaves me alone. But will he use the emails against me? I know he would print them out.

I'm very sorry, but yes, you must assume he is building a case to fire you. I don't know anything about Australian law and regulations, but you should find out. You probably want to document everything. You should assume anything on your work computers is available to your boss. Ask politely about due dates for every item, meet them if possible, and document exactly why you can't meet them if it's not possible. And start making plan B. It's time for your best GTD skills.

 

[Barb]

My Take

Although I don't live in Australia and don't know your laws regarding employment, I would agree that it does sound as if your position there is coming to an end soon. I'm so sorry. I've seen managers like this in both my corporate life and now in my consulting practice and they don't ultimately succeed (take some comfort in that), but you won't likely be able to alter the situation in a short period of time either. I remember your posts from about a year ago regarding your inability to connect with him, so talking this through, enlisting his help, or any of those other communication-based solutions aren't likely to work for you now.

So take a deep breath, learn what you can from this, keep your cool and do your best to get your work done. If you do lose your job, go out with grace and dignity, turn the page on this as quickly as you can, and find a job and a boss that will fit with you better. Who knows? A year from now you may see this as the best thing that ever happened to you! Sometimes we need something outside of ourselves to move us along from a position that isn't really working for us.

Best of luck!

 

[TesTeq]

Act now!

At a meeting yesterday with the manager of the plant and another senior team leader, my boss gave me a two page typed task list (dated of course!), runs through verbally the inventory of what I have to do, and ends the meeting with the words "I have witnesses!"
(...)
I'm worried he's accumulating evidence of my bad performance by doing the dated task list. I'm wondering if I should start emailing him progress on work, so he knows what I'm doing and leaves me alone. But will he use the emails against me? I know he would print them out.

1. It's not professional to manage subordinates in this way (unless your boss is Steve Jobs ). It is not a management - it's a management theathre meant to make him feel better.
2. Don't worry that he's accumulating evidence of your bad performance. You can be sure that he does it so there's nothing to worry about.
3. Act now! Update your CV and look for next opportunities but without a hurry.
4. Analyse the task list your boss gave you and give him your deadline estimates for each task.

...and NO - he will not leave you alone because you send him some e-mails.

 

[vbampton]

I'd agree, that, even if you work miracles and get caught up, he'll always be on your back. He sounds like an awful boss! I'm also certain the stress levels are doing you no good whatsoever. Sometimes a fresh start can be a good thing.

I'm at least 6 months behind in my work and have no idea how to catch up and get things done on time. And it's all getting to crunch time and is all due in the next month or two.

In the meantime, was all of that 6 months work on that list? If not, could you compile all of your lists, and get some time with him - ask him for his priorities and which he'd like you do first. If he's micromanaging to the degree that he's giving you a detailed list, then he sounds like a bit of a control freak. Feeling like he's in control of what you're doing might make him feel better, and get him off your back a bit while you find something better.

 

[S-Tolland]

I'm so sorry to hear you are in such a tough situation. I know exactly what it is like to have a really difficult boss. Over 10 years ago I was in the same situation, where my contract was coming to an end and my boss was, to put it short, a tyrant. When she had a bad day, I had a worse one...
I moved to a new job after being made redundant and haven't looked back...

I so hope that it works out for you. All the best.

 

[TesTeq]

What would he do with these tasks if Suelin23 suddenly disappeared?

If not, could you compile all of your lists, and get some time with him - ask him for his priorities and which he'd like you do first. If he's micromanaging to the degree that he's giving you a detailed list, then he sounds like a bit of a control freak. Feeling like he's in control of what you're doing might make him feel better, and get him off your back a bit while you find something better.

Unfortunatelly you treat Suelin23's boss like a goal-oriented, reasonable person. But apparently he's not.

Suelin23 will go to talk about priorities and I'm sure he'll say that everything on this list is important (because he deals only with the important stuff) and it should have been done already. Or six months ago.

One important question to ask is: what would he do with these tasks if Suelin23 suddenly disappeared?

 

[Candid]

You've gotten great advice thus far. Can I ask you to also help the company by having an exit interview with your boss's boss when you do leave?

I'm working with a group who is in the process of firing a similar boss, but part of the frustration is knowing that this situation has gone on for a long time and not many employees let supervisors know. If more had done exit interviews, the person would have been gone much quicker.

 

[Roger]

It's a bit cheesy, but in a book called "The Four Agreements" by Ruiz, the first agreement is to "be impeccable", by which he literally means "to be without sin."

His basic idea is that if you honestly do the very best job you can, then really you have nothing to fear from criticism. If you've done the best you can and that just isn't good enough, then it's in everyone's best interest to get someone else for the job.

Cheers,
Roger

 

[enyonam]

There is definitely some great advice in this thread - I was reading through and nodding pretty much all the way through.

The only other thing I thought of was what I heard Meg Edwards say in one of the GTD Connect podcasts that's always stayed with me. And that is that you don't have problems, you have projects. So as a GTD practitioner I think it's important to remember that you should turn it into a project. And of course, the first step is to define your successful outcome - is it finding a new job, is it finding a way to exist in this environment because there's isn't anything else right now, or a combination of the two, and so forth. Once you've defined that then you figure out the next action or actions.

I think sometimes when emotions are high, it really helps to rely on what you've learned in GTD. And remember, that a research / look into project is just as acceptable an answer as all the above ideas. And perhaps asking the GTD Connect community for ideas was already your next action ... I don't know. The important thing is that you define a successful outcome, and then the next action. At least then, you've made a choice about what to do, or start to do, about it ... AND you're doing something. And hopefully that way you've captured what has your attention, you've channeled it into a project and instead of it spilling out in anger at other people, it's channeled into your next actions.

Good luck - that just sounds like a miserable way to spend 40 hours a week.

 

[DenaDahilig]

sounds a little woo-woo

I just had this vision of our gal meeting with her boss, going over her projects and timelines... with an ARMY of GTD Connect members standing around her. Some are armed with ball point pens, others with labelers, all ready to collect and process her boss... whatever that entails.

You go, girl! We're behind you!

Dena

 

[vbampton]

I just had this vision of our gal meeting with her boss, going over her projects and timelines... with an ARMY of GTD Connect members standing around her. Some are armed with ball point pens, others with labelers, all ready to collect and process her boss... whatever that entails.

What a great picture! Well said Dena!

 

[Suelin23]

Thanks all, very good advice here. Sorry I've not replied earlier, but I was too upset even to read the forums! I started working with my boss Feb 2008, and realised 6 months later I couldn't work well with him and started actively looking for more work. Another 18 months later I gave up and then started looking around for ways to make my work situation better, and hence found GTD. The task list is only the list of high priority work, we are supposed to specialise in two areas of expertise, his way of reducing my workload was to reduce the focus on one of them. I have known other people I have worked with previously come into my company and leave because of the huge workload that seems to be expected on a regular basis.

Part of the problem seems to stem from me not working long hours to get it done. I have co-workers doing 50-60 hours a week, and I find it really hard to do that because of my family responsibilities, I can do do 45, occasionally get close to 50 but not often. My boss is often working weekends at the moment, and I think he's frustrated because I'm not. Oh, and none of that overtime is paid, we're all on government salaries.

He is a perfectionist, that is well known by many people. For example, a tour was planned to take some other government people around our plant. Initially it was just going to be a guy from another group driving them around talking about features of the plant. My boss got me to organise meeting with him, insisted an agenda be done, a map made up of the tour route, a pack for each person with several reports and information etc. Everything he does has to be bigger and better and more impressive. He will insist on refining the wording of everything I write - literally sits next to me at the computer and discusses wording of the sentences (he does this to many others too). When other people write up two pages for an expenditure approvals, we have to write ten. It just means that things take 5 times longer than they would working for any other person, and because I can't put in the hours he would like, I just fall behind.
Ask him about priorities, its all a priority. Not has to do now, but all should have been done months ago. He likes to be ahead of the game by years, but doesn't like to help or mentor. I ask him if I need to make an official file for the task he's just given me, he gets flustered and jabbers on for half an hour because he can't handle answering detailed questions like that. He likes to give out work but not help with doing any of it.

I think I have improved a lot since starting GTD, I'm also a lot more confident, however the workload has increased faster than my GTDing skills. I have not been keen to change jobs as my husband has injured his back at work and is awaiting surgery, so I'm wanting work to be stable as things are unsettled at home at the moment. Also, this job is really flexible and allows working from home and more locally. The rest of the people in my team are highly supportive and really great to work with, so I have one difficult person and 3 fantastic people, and then many other good people I work with in other teams. Seems a shame to leave because of one person.
Am wondering if there is a way that I can learn to work with him in spite of his difficulties.

 

[Barb]

Working with him

Suelin,
We're all very glad to hear from you again and it sounds as if some of the emotion has peeled off and you're in problem solving mode. I hope you'll carefully read every response--there is gold there for you!

Enyo mentioned something particularly important--you don't have problems, you have projects. I had a major health issue a few years ago and I was PARALYZED with fear over it. When Meg Edwards said those words--no problems, just projects--it flipped a switch for me and I was able to calmly lay out a project to tackle it.

None of us are in your exact situation and our advice will only go so far, of course. Here in the U.S., for instance, employees in positions like yours (exempt employees we are called) are expected to work until the work is done and are not paid for hours worked beyond the normal 40. MANY people here routinely work well over 40 hours per week, right or wrong, because that's the expectation of the corporate culture and jobs are scarce. Not every company is like that, of course, but it's more common than most people think.

So it sounds as if two things may need to happen: You're going to need to work both smarter and more hours in order to keep your job.

If I were in your position and losing my job would be a crisis for my family, I think I would consider:

• Delegating as many personal things as I possibly could so i could focus on work
• Get GTD telecoaching right away--there are bound to be some improvement opportunities you aren't seeing
• Enlist the help of any co-workers you trust--get feedback!
• Figure out how to make your boss happy--you aren't going to change him!

You also probably need to own some of this internally. In all of your posts over the past year or so, it does seem as if your boss is completely at fault. But other people are succeeding with him. How are they doing it? Can you seek them out and ask? It just is not possible to change someone else...the only person you can change is yourself.

Tough words, I know, but they come from a place of genuine care and concern for your well-being...please know that.

 

[TesTeq]

Don't work for him - work for your organization.

I started working with my boss Feb 2008, and realised 6 months later I couldn't work well with him and started actively looking for more work.

My experience tells me that bad first impressions are self-fulfilling prophecy. So now I never ignore my negative feelings and look for "exit" solutions as soon as possible.

Part of the problem seems to stem from me not working long hours to get it done. I have co-workers doing 50-60 hours a week, and I find it really hard to do that because of my family responsibilities, I can do do 45, occasionally get close to 50 but not often. My boss is often working weekends at the moment, and I think he's frustrated because I'm not. Oh, and none of that overtime is paid, we're all on government salaries.

You cannot fight with the math. 50 is less than 60. And I understand your boss that he's frustrated that you cannot work when he works. There's significant mismatch between your boss's and your life priorities.

He is a perfectionist, that is well known by many people. For example, a tour was planned to take some other government people around our plant. Initially it was just going to be a guy from another group driving them around talking about features of the plant. My boss got me to organise meeting with him, insisted an agenda be done, a map made up of the tour route, a pack for each person with several reports and information etc. Everything he does has to be bigger and better and more impressive. He will insist on refining the wording of everything I write - literally sits next to me at the computer and discusses wording of the sentences (he does this to many others too). When other people write up two pages for an expenditure approvals, we have to write ten. It just means that things take 5 times longer than they would working for any other person, and because I can't put in the hours he would like, I just fall behind.

Steve Jobs was a perfectionst too and made many people cry.

Ask him about priorities, its all a priority. Not has to do now, but all should have been done months ago. He likes to be ahead of the game by years, but doesn't like to help or mentor. I ask him if I need to make an official file for the task he's just given me, he gets flustered and jabbers on for half an hour because he can't handle answering detailed questions like that. He likes to give out work but not help with doing any of it.

Some people have difficulty in prioritizing the list of tasks but can easily determine if task A is more urgent/important than task B. So don't ask him about priorities but about relative priorities of particular task (or task category) pairs.

I think I have improved a lot since starting GTD, I'm also a lot more confident, however the workload has increased faster than my GTDing skills. I have not been keen to change jobs as my husband has injured his back at work and is awaiting surgery, so I'm wanting work to be stable as things are unsettled at home at the moment. Also, this job is really flexible and allows working from home and more locally. The rest of the people in my team are highly supportive and really great to work with, so I have one difficult person and 3 fantastic people, and then many other good people I work with in other teams. Seems a shame to leave because of one person.

We have a saying in Polish that one spoon of tar spoils the whole barrel of honey.

Am wondering if there is a way that I can learn to work with him in spite of his difficulties.

YES. Do your best and treat his attitude in the same way as you treat a rain. Inform him about your progress in doing the tasks from the list and don't expect any positive feedback. Don't work for him - work for your organization and to earn money needed for your family.

 

[TesTeq]

In Europe...

None of us are in your exact situation and our advice will only go so far, of course. Here in the U.S., for instance, employees in positions like yours (exempt employees we are called) are expected to work until the work is done and are not paid for hours worked beyond the normal 40. MANY people here routinely work well over 40 hours per week, right or wrong, because that's the expectation of the corporate culture and jobs are scarce. Not every company is like that, of course, but it's more common than most people think.

In Europe (at least in most of the countries) government employees enjoy 40-hour (or less) workweek and are paid for any additional work. Maybe all European countries go bankrupt but after happy, stress-free and early-retirement time.

 

[enyonam]

I believe there's a silver lining here....

Hi Suelin, Glad to read your post this morning.

And I'm so glad for you that you've got such great advice in this thread and that in particular Barb has responded. ... It's not often you get free advice from a GTD'ing HR consultant! Only on GTD Connect

I just wanted to add that you've said something very key and that is that your boss is a perfectionist. And from your last post he sounds like he's an olympic-class perfectionist. As a recovering perfectionist myself , I would encourage you to also look at his perspective a little more as it would help to understand what he's doing. As much as you're suffering from work headaches and task-list-itis ... he's possibly suffering the same, if not more! Perhaps he's frustrated that he's got more to do than he + his team can do. And perhaps he's thinking if his team could put in as much time as he's putting in, or be as much as of a perfectionist as he is, then maybe the team could keep up with everything that needs to be done. Even if he's the one creating the work! If this is the case, then he's probably just as frustrated as you are!

If this is your boss, then you are SO lucky you have GTD! The first thing to realise is that you CANNOT change your boss - you just have to learn to work with him. And getting good at GTD has certainly helped me (for instance) deal with environments where you feel the fire hose has been turned on you. I absolutely agree with Barb that the best investment you can make in this regard, is getting some one-on-one DAC coaching.

You also need to be very clear about what your commitments at work are. And this means, at some point, negotiating (or renegotiating) those commitments with your boss. Your work hours commitment for instance is one. If he's given you task lists fit for 60-hour weeks and you're only able/willing to do 45 hours, then of course there will always be tension. You need some clear tactics on how to renegotiate this commitment. And sounds to me with your personal situation, you've got to do this renegotiation beyond your task list - you need to climb up your horizons of focus at least to your areas of focus/responsibility and possibly your 30k or higher. Maybe this sounds like gibberish but I am sure one-on-one coaching will assist.

I do think dealing with this work situation has a silver lining somewhere. I certainly do not know enough about your situation to guess intelligently what this is. Perhaps it's getting to black belt GTD, or perhaps it's being able to join in the credit of a well-respected organisation, ... or perhaps there are multiple takeaways. I think you are the only one who would know what the silver lining is. But, I do think there will be at least one.

Best wishes!