Negative feelings

Discussion in 'PUBLIC: Discuss the GTD Methodology' started by Tom_Hagen, Jul 11, 2018.

Tags:
  1. Tom_Hagen

    Tom_Hagen Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I've found that everything I put into gtd system after some time inverts into obligation - even pleasant things. I feel like I'm trying checking off next actions and make my lists empty. I know that our commitments never end and resemble rather stream than lake. I would like to be rather in state of "flow" than "emptying the tank" but it's very hard to acomplish that. Has anyone had similar feelings and coped with them?
     
  2. TesTeq

    TesTeq Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    4,488
    Likes Received:
    300
    Trophy Points:
    83
    You can empty your lists by moving items to Someday/Maybe.
     
    Loïs likes this.
  3. Aliman

    Aliman Aliman

    Joined:
    May 17, 2018
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    41
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    COO in Behavioral Health - Professor of Philosophy
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Aloha Tom,

    Consider reviewing your higher horizons. If it were me, I’d ask myself why I’m doing the projects on my lists. It seems more like an existential issue than specifically an organizational system issue. My guess is GTD or not, you’d be looking at the same kind of situation. For me, GDT helps me keep everything in perspective and allows me to thus relegate things to a someday-maybe or just chuck it and say I don’t need this.

    Aliman
     
  4. Tom_Hagen

    Tom_Hagen Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    I know I can do that. But that's not my point. Consider situation when you're going to rest all day. You can do this spontaneously - now I want to do this and now I want to do that. Or you can make a plan: first - swimming pool after that cinema, then reading per one hour etc. I suppose - in second case you can feel overhelmed and even forced to rest :) Do you know what I mean?
     
  5. Tom_Hagen

    Tom_Hagen Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Good point. I'm not going to resign from GTD, which I consider the best system. Maybe I shall reconsider granularity of next action. I suppose that too tiny next actions can cause an effect "employee on the production line".
     
  6. TesTeq

    TesTeq Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    4,488
    Likes Received:
    300
    Trophy Points:
    83
    I plan my leisure time but I avoid to plan more than I can do.
     
    Aliman likes this.
  7. SDH

    SDH Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2018
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    13
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Unless there is something specific I want to get done during leisure time (I have to remind myself, for example, to practice my flute or to think through what quilting project I want to get done next) my leisure time is when I release myself from lists. If it’s true leisure time—time when I just want to kick back and relax—I want to live the opposite way I do in my work life. Rather than having a list of all the things I want to do to relax, I just relax.
     
    Aliman likes this.
  8. John Ismyname

    John Ismyname Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2017
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Well said, SDH. I do the "day of rest" every Sunday. I deliberately do not structure this day more than necessary and go "technology free" for most of the day.
     
    Aliman likes this.
  9. bcmyers2112

    bcmyers2112 Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2012
    Messages:
    716
    Likes Received:
    147
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    A common misconception is that GTD is about regimenting everything in your life. Over time I've learned the opposite: it's about giving you the freedom to be spontaneous. If you know everything you *could* be doing, you can take time to smell the roses if that's where your intuition leads you.

    Don't feel bad. The idea that GTD means you have to rigidly plan absolutely everything in your life is a misconception I held for at least the first few years I practiced GTD.

    If you want completely unstructured leisure time, and you have the opportunity for it, then give that gift to yourself. It's that simple. It's not anti-GTD. In fact, it's very consistent with GTD.
     
    Aliman likes this.
  10. vino

    vino Registered

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2018
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    33
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Business Manager
    Location:
    Saudi Arabia
    Home Page:
    I recall David Allen using the example of the divider in a two way road. If not for this structure we will have many accidents. But, if we start having the road divided by SUVs only, Hybrids only and start subdividing that by Hybrid over 60kmph and lesser then it becomes absurd.

    Even when you say XX day you are going to rest all day. That is structured. So, within that you can find your sweet spot without overdoing it.
     
    Ulrica likes this.
  11. bcmyers2112

    bcmyers2112 Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2012
    Messages:
    716
    Likes Received:
    147
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    I would take this one step further. I would suggest there are times -- and even entire days -- when you should feel free to ignore your lists on the spur of the moment and take advantage of spontaneous opportunities to do something fun. If you have truly clarified and organized everything that could be rattling your cage, you can let your intuition be your guide about whether to seize such moments.
     
    vino likes this.
  12. Tom_Hagen

    Tom_Hagen Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Thank you for all replies.
     
  13. Sarahsuccess

    Sarahsuccess Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2018
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    3
    I'd like to add another reply.

    Its all in the way you think about your lists.

    David Allen says "A mind is for having ideas, not holding them"

    The way to think about lists, in my opinion, is like a tool, or like a butler holding them on a tray, displaying them and waiting for me to choose one. They are not meant to be like a master, or cause pressure. But until your lists are complete, it may feel like that. I can relate to the feeling that they're an obligation. I now see my gtd tool/lists sort of as a shopping cart holding my stuff, so I don't have to walk through the store (life) holding 153 items in my hands. The cart will hold them for me until I'm ready to do something with them. Imagine the relief of being given a shopping cart when you are holding and juggling several pounds of heavy groceries in your arms. Or perhaps imagine being offered a wheelbarrow when you are trying to carry heavy rocks for several miles. (A wheelbarrow or shopping cart with categorized compartments would complete the analogy.)

    I like your lake and stream analogy. I like that idea, of having flow, rather than needing to empty the stream.

    If you want to hear David Allen himself saying "A mind is for having ideas, not holding them" you can check out this youtube video:

    If the link doesn't work then, try to google "Crucial advice on time management from David Allen"

    Also, GTD connect for members has several essays where David Allen describes how getting stuff down on paper is a relief, and enables him to relax, because he can rely on it being there when he wants to do it and he doesn't have to hold it in his head.

    Maybe this video can help you change your thinking (and attitude) about the lists. It helped me.

    https://nortonsafe.search.ask.com/s...8yNmmHq5hGm24w05V_81FcThgDdg&ts=1533510299236
    • [​IMG]
      03:21
      Crucial Advice on Time Management from David Allen

    Sarah
     
    ata_mariusz likes this.
  14. Tom_Hagen

    Tom_Hagen Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2018
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Hi Sarah. Thank you for your response - very inspirative. I agree with you that lists, especially next action list - shall be like a menu in restaurant. You don't choose every meal but only few of them. From time to time I manage to be in such a state of minds. But after while I find myself in another state - state of feeling obligation to complete everything. Instead of feeling "flow" I have an impreession that I'm "behind my stuff", that I have to catch up things.
    Maybe it's a matter of patience, maybe of too many active projects, maybe on focusing too much on achieving goal / project rather on focusing on completing one step, maybe mix of all :)

    I think that I should try on and on realizing everything above to change my inner thoughts.

    Tom
     
  15. Castanea_d.

    Castanea_d. Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2017
    Messages:
    27
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Organist/Choirmaster
    Location:
    Iowa
    Home Page:
    Me too (mine is on Monday). My one concession to GTD on the day of rest is that I continue to write down ideas as they pop into my head. I tried not doing that, aiming for a mindsweep the next morning, and it was too uncomfortable to carry all those thoughts around.
     

Share This Page