[OT] Out of office replies


In the spirit of getting things done, this is a suggested list of out of office replies.

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you
send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be
patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

3. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99
for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your

4. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a
reply in approximately 19 weeks.


6. Thank you for your email. In my absence it has been automatically deleted for one of the following reasons:
a) I don't really believe Bill Gates wants to send me money for forwarding useless, juvenile messages;
b) If Craig Shergold hasn't made the Guiness Book email record by now, he isn't likely to reach his goal. Also, his email address is so well known, that the spammers surely must have sent him over 1 million emails in the past 24 hours alone.
c) I must respectfully decline to participate in a scheme to divert the fortune of some African country's dead finance minister. Aside from such an action being immoral, I know the US Treasury Dept takes a dim view of fraud, especially when it involves stealing someone else's inheritance and hiding wealth in offshore accounts.