You might want to try this: near the end of each day, think of 3 things you did well and one thing you're grateful for. Things you did well: not perfectly, but well. E.g. if you make a salad with pieces that are a little too big or too small to put into the mouth easily, or you forget to include one vegetable in the salad, it still tastes good and is healthy and can be something you did well, especially if you enjoyed it or were glad you had done it or did it better than another day. You can just think of things or say them aloud; you don't necessarily have to write them down or save them in a list. It's to help you feel good about stuff.
Paralyzing perfectionism
- Thread starter John
- Start date
Hello John!
It is my opinion that you are not really grappling with perfectionism. My guess that your state of 'overwhelm / stuckness' is due to other variables. I hope you don't mind if I try a little arm chair analysis here, for the fun of it. I only bother because it may help to get you thinking carefully about your natural mindset & inclinations. Then you can better build a system that honors what you are, are not, and the way you need to see your work lined-up. So here are my guesses about your situation.
1. You are probably very smart: Maybe you have the blessing/curse to see many layers ahead, so everywhere you look, mentally, you see coming barriers in your courses of action. Perhaps all the future barriers you see feel like the here-and-now, like rocks forming a wall blocking you, overwhelming you? (David mentions phenomena in his book)
2. Maybe you are an extremely global thinker... always needing to see the end before ever beginning... meaning you always like to have a sense of where you are at, and going to, in the big picture- including for projects and daily routines... how it all ties together... to know if your life is on-track or not. If this is true, it is just the way you are wired, so your system must accomplish provide that view.
3. Maybe your time, and mind share, is all swallowed up by minutia tasks & life chores : Some folks are lucky enough to find much of their fulfillment in sustaining an 'empty inbox'. You may struggle with wanting to engage the endless string of minutia chores because they prevent you from doing the things you value most, where you find your real satisfaction. So, maybe for you it feels like a life choice between 'being responsible', staying on top of things, or living your intentions. Having time to do both may seem like impossibility until your hyper-organized life/task system makes it possible!! Thus, you may be fixated on creating the ultimate task & life management system because the alternative is to 'live a life of quiet despair', never getting around to living life on your terms, which is unacceptable to you… so here you are- felling a little stuck??
My extrapolation is probably way off, but I still feel that your 'stuckness' is coming from places other than perfectionism. If so, you may be on to something really big... like solving the paradoxes that slow so many of us from 'getting to where we want to be.'
It is my opinion that you are not really grappling with perfectionism. My guess that your state of 'overwhelm / stuckness' is due to other variables. I hope you don't mind if I try a little arm chair analysis here, for the fun of it. I only bother because it may help to get you thinking carefully about your natural mindset & inclinations. Then you can better build a system that honors what you are, are not, and the way you need to see your work lined-up. So here are my guesses about your situation.
1. You are probably very smart: Maybe you have the blessing/curse to see many layers ahead, so everywhere you look, mentally, you see coming barriers in your courses of action. Perhaps all the future barriers you see feel like the here-and-now, like rocks forming a wall blocking you, overwhelming you? (David mentions phenomena in his book)
2. Maybe you are an extremely global thinker... always needing to see the end before ever beginning... meaning you always like to have a sense of where you are at, and going to, in the big picture- including for projects and daily routines... how it all ties together... to know if your life is on-track or not. If this is true, it is just the way you are wired, so your system must accomplish provide that view.
3. Maybe your time, and mind share, is all swallowed up by minutia tasks & life chores : Some folks are lucky enough to find much of their fulfillment in sustaining an 'empty inbox'. You may struggle with wanting to engage the endless string of minutia chores because they prevent you from doing the things you value most, where you find your real satisfaction. So, maybe for you it feels like a life choice between 'being responsible', staying on top of things, or living your intentions. Having time to do both may seem like impossibility until your hyper-organized life/task system makes it possible!! Thus, you may be fixated on creating the ultimate task & life management system because the alternative is to 'live a life of quiet despair', never getting around to living life on your terms, which is unacceptable to you… so here you are- felling a little stuck??
My extrapolation is probably way off, but I still feel that your 'stuckness' is coming from places other than perfectionism. If so, you may be on to something really big... like solving the paradoxes that slow so many of us from 'getting to where we want to be.'
Solution Idea
John,
I'm sorry. It was impolite of me to not at least offer-up a solution idea in my post above.
I think the perspectives you may be looking for can be seen in methodologies used by many software development companies to manage their workflow; they really tie-in the big picture to today’s next actions in a very clear and visible way.
If you search software screenshots for agile, scrum, kanban, (scrumban!!), I think you might like what you see; the method is extremely visual... it is easy to see the flow of progress. Of course, the terminology for work phases, etc., is for the software industry, but you can re-label things. Especially check out targetprocess3 (trello too), the ability to build/see next-aspects of live projects into balanced work-batches that represent the next benefit-stage of your personal plan is really fantastic. I think GTD principles and methods dovetail right in... bringing it all together in a powerful way!!
I Hope that helps a little, I am no expert. Good Luck!
John,
I'm sorry. It was impolite of me to not at least offer-up a solution idea in my post above.
I think the perspectives you may be looking for can be seen in methodologies used by many software development companies to manage their workflow; they really tie-in the big picture to today’s next actions in a very clear and visible way.
If you search software screenshots for agile, scrum, kanban, (scrumban!!), I think you might like what you see; the method is extremely visual... it is easy to see the flow of progress. Of course, the terminology for work phases, etc., is for the software industry, but you can re-label things. Especially check out targetprocess3 (trello too), the ability to build/see next-aspects of live projects into balanced work-batches that represent the next benefit-stage of your personal plan is really fantastic. I think GTD principles and methods dovetail right in... bringing it all together in a powerful way!!
I Hope that helps a little, I am no expert. Good Luck!