So I have a few problems projects I am trying to figure out how to help others to learn GTD. 1. It's ruining my marriage that I can't rely on my husband to hold stuff. 2. It's significantly holding back my colleagues Holacracy practice. 3. My friends husband is an anxious mess in a corporate C level position and just doesn't see any way out. GTD is the answer to all of the problems so can I just "gift" all these people an online class or what? My husband already read the book and implementation is poor. He knows it and is curious but not committed. How do I nudge, push, shove this down others throats?
You know you’re coming on pretty strong here, right? If you are the face of GTD to colleagues, family and friends, you had better be the most relaxed, together, caring and supportive person you can be. I’ve been through a couple of periods where I thought I was really doing well with GTD and ended up getting pretty upset with people I was close to. It turns out I was not doing that well, and my interactions could have been more skillful.
TesTeq
0
@ONCDC I agree with @mcogilvie. Hitting people in the face with GTD doesn't work. Leading by example works but you need to be very patient.
If you can't rely on your husband to hold stuff GTD won't help. The problem is buried deeper below the GTD Runway…
schmeggahead
Registered
That sounds like an un-captured waiting for list entry with appropriate date stamps.
In our house, we use a white board as a communication center - it is mostly stuff, so I process what's on the board and add a few words like buy a, or search for a, to entries on the board.
Everything that is on that communication board is represented in my system in some way after passing through an inbox.
I agree that GTD would be the answer to all of these problems for me. It isn't for my partner or my friends.
The key agreement I have with myself is that GTD will be the solution to these situations of angst for me to allow me to be relaxed & in the moment even when others cannot be. It helps me be there for them.
Most times when others confide in me about the struggles they are having, I am in the mindset "I have to figure out how to help them solve it."
One day, I figured out that they hadn't asked me to solve their problem, they just wanted an ear to commiserate. My suggested solutions were not an appropriate response to the interaction they wanted to have.
It took a lot of work for me to employ this lesson consistently.
Clayton
Unsolicited advice can be just as detrimental as a lack of courtesy. When you see someone without a smile, give them yours. Irony is not lost on me.
Murray
Registered
Yep that's a big one. Even after learning that lesson many years ago I still find myself tempted to go into solutions mode rather than listening and reflecting back what I'm hearing. For me part of the practice is noticing and sitting with the discomfort that often arises when someone else has shared that they are having difficulties. I think that's often what drives the urge I feel to suggest strategies when that's not being asked for.
Yes, I know that's why I am asking for help because I want to support others but my impulse is to buy them a course and say get your shit together
I guess also context... my husband is interested but struggles with implementation, my friends partner well that's just none of my business, but in my organization it is my business and my role. I am just not sure what's effective at teaching/coaching/supporting this stuff.
René Lie
Certified GTD Trainer
I second what is being said here. Sometimes it's tough to hear when people you care about share their struggles (or you're simply just observing), and you KNOW that GTD would be a tremendous help... And I have more than once tried to suggest checking out GTD, but people are not always very open to it.
It just proves what @DavidAllen says: the people who need GTD the least, are the ones who want it the most - and definitely vice versa!
And the more you get into GTD, the more you see the "craziness" of others... My contribution for the time being is to become a certified GTD Trainer in my organization - I'm excited to see what comes out of it!
It just proves what @DavidAllen says: the people who need GTD the least, are the ones who want it the most - and definitely vice versa!
And the more you get into GTD, the more you see the "craziness" of others... My contribution for the time being is to become a certified GTD Trainer in my organization - I'm excited to see what comes out of it!
Sarahsuccess
Registered
I think GTD is meant to help us get control of our “stuff”, not other people.
For the work-related stuff, I would bring those up as tensions (i.e. agenda items) in Holacracy tactical or governance meetings as appropriate. The structure of those meetings works well to get clarity on what you can expect from people in the roles they hold. For anything not related to work, I would focus on agreements. We agreed that I would do this and you would do that. You didn't do that, which erodes trust in our relationship.
Often people don't have a need for GTD until there is some pain point, such as a relationship that is not working as they want it to, before they recognize that they need to manage their commitments more effectively.
Modeling relaxed productivity works better than pushing.
Although, back to Holacracy. You can point out that someone is not fulfilling the accountabilities of a role, and request that they step up, or request that they be replaced in that role. That's one of the beauties of Holacracy. You can simply point out that someone is not handling the role, and say step up or step aside. The personalities and personal relationships are removed from the equation.
I discovered David Allen‘s work after trying and failing with several “productivity programs” which were well-known at the time. GTD immediately resonated with me because I had tried other things and failed. I now know that those programs in fact failed me. Some amounted to “this works for me; be like me” which generally doesnt work. Some programs were fraudulent in the sense that the people advocating them didn’t use them. Today I also see a lot of shallow productivity material, some of it slickly produced, some quite expensive.
You get a lot for free from Davidco, and for under $100 you can get a lot: books, recordings, and white papers. And of course there are other more expensive options. None of it matters unless the person learning GTD is able and willing to learn from a given modality. If you want change, you have to meet people where they are and give them things they can use.
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OliverG
0
Agree with the summary of what is said above:
a) We all wish our surroundings would hear the call
b) Pushing does not work.
Idea:
Let the new "Workbook" lie around, specially for persons who have read the book or heard some stuff. It is rather accessible.
Also if people complain, say: "I can show you what helps me".
DON'T call it GTD That might scare people. Just give away hints.
DON'T try to teach them everything.
Give hints on "capturing" and the "2 min rule" (maybe don't even call it that)
Ask after a while if they tried your "trick". If it worked.
Hint at the fact that there is more where this came from.
"Selling by not selling."
a) We all wish our surroundings would hear the call
b) Pushing does not work.
Idea:
Let the new "Workbook" lie around, specially for persons who have read the book or heard some stuff. It is rather accessible.
Also if people complain, say: "I can show you what helps me".
DON'T call it GTD
That might scare people. Just give away hints.DON'T try to teach them everything.
Give hints on "capturing" and the "2 min rule" (maybe don't even call it that
)Ask after a while if they tried your "trick". If it worked.
Hint at the fact that there is more where this came from.
"Selling by not selling."
dtj
Registered
Spouses and GTD is like giving a cat a bath. Regardless of how much the cat needs the bath, it just aint gonna work out well for either party. My personal philosophy is to deftly control my half of the equation, with calmness, and let my wife figure her stuff out. However, you should set expectations explicitly. For instance, my wife always used me as her outboard brain (ie. "remember this, this, and this". I kept literally telling her "I will forget that list before you draw your next breath". Eventually she realized that I was being honest. Periodically she now says things like "Did you get the list of things done I told you?". I say "put the list on paper or it doesn't exist". Quite a few times of that happening and now she makes the paper list without me having to say that, and calm settles over the kingdom.
She's very organized in her own ad hoc way. The only disorganization WAS at the interface between our systems.
She's very organized in her own ad hoc way. The only disorganization WAS at the interface between our systems.
Good point. My wife pretty much believes me now when I tell her she needs to send me an email, especially if there is nontrivial data involved. I am particularly bad at capturing verbal calendar data. On the other hand, she knows I can capture grocery items pretty easily. You have to check the spousal interface specs for bandwith, handshakes, et cetera. (Sometimes I just wallow in nerdiness, sorry. I promise I’m not like that most of the time.)