I need your assistance. When I come home after work I go straight to have my dinner. When eating I watch TV. And that's like a drug because I can't stop watching. My action list for home tasks doesn't attract me. I have no active hobbies because I don't like any of what I know. What's wrong with me? I want to be seen active by my kids. Please help!
Help needed!
- Thread starter Soland
- Start date
Jamie Elis
Registered
put a black cloth or garbage bag over the TV
or hide the cord from yourself in a place you don't feel like looking for it.
Make breaking this terrible habit and building in something else a project!
Make a list of all the reasons you do not want to watch TV and all the reasons you want to do alternatives and read the list every time you do something that your are going to do anyway (like drink a glass of water, eat, etc.).
Maybe your sleep is poor or insufficient and you are too tired to do anything.
Put the stuff you need for the alternative activities in a visible place and start talking about the activities with your kids. The excitement will build and pretty soon they will pull you into the activities.
If your kids are of an age when they will do things with you, you know that does not last forever and they will remember, with great joy, the fun you have together, playing tag, playing ball, whatever.
Try to do one new thing a week until you find something you enjoy and remember that it can be helping others such as tutoring, visiting a shut in, being a volunteer assistant with anything.
or hide the cord from yourself in a place you don't feel like looking for it.
Make breaking this terrible habit and building in something else a project!
Make a list of all the reasons you do not want to watch TV and all the reasons you want to do alternatives and read the list every time you do something that your are going to do anyway (like drink a glass of water, eat, etc.).
Maybe your sleep is poor or insufficient and you are too tired to do anything.
Put the stuff you need for the alternative activities in a visible place and start talking about the activities with your kids. The excitement will build and pretty soon they will pull you into the activities.
If your kids are of an age when they will do things with you, you know that does not last forever and they will remember, with great joy, the fun you have together, playing tag, playing ball, whatever.
Try to do one new thing a week until you find something you enjoy and remember that it can be helping others such as tutoring, visiting a shut in, being a volunteer assistant with anything.
Donate your TV
Giving up television was the best thing I could have ever done. I suggest you sell or donate your TV and then it wont be in the house to watch. We physically still have a TV set so that we can watch movies but we have no reception. Cut the cable that gives you reception perhaps.
If you don't want to be so drastic, I suggest you eat dinner at the dining room table with no tv on. It is great to have that family time and speak about all your days. Unless you're divorced and don't live with your children? Then perhaps you could be using the television as a substitute for your loss. Then I would suggest investigating clubs and classes. They're not as intense as hobbies and you often don't need to buy any/many supplies. Take a cooking class once a week or learn another language. I would suggest you do it with other people though so that you're accountable. Trying a large range of different activities will help you find what you're passionate about.
Good luck sweetheart. It can be a hard road but it is worth it!!!
Allie
Giving up television was the best thing I could have ever done. I suggest you sell or donate your TV and then it wont be in the house to watch. We physically still have a TV set so that we can watch movies but we have no reception. Cut the cable that gives you reception perhaps.
If you don't want to be so drastic, I suggest you eat dinner at the dining room table with no tv on. It is great to have that family time and speak about all your days. Unless you're divorced and don't live with your children? Then perhaps you could be using the television as a substitute for your loss. Then I would suggest investigating clubs and classes. They're not as intense as hobbies and you often don't need to buy any/many supplies. Take a cooking class once a week or learn another language. I would suggest you do it with other people though so that you're accountable. Trying a large range of different activities will help you find what you're passionate about.
Good luck sweetheart. It can be a hard road but it is worth it!!!
Allie
Thanks for your help! It's really cool! I'm ready to donate my TV. Then I would be doing...doing what? I don't have any alternative. It was a great idea to go for different classes but I leave 30km away from the city and it makes it hard (1 hour drive one way). What hobbies do you have that I could use as alternative to the TV?
Suelin23
Registered
Seriously?!!! Donate the TV!!!!
My family would have a mutiny!
I have a weeknight checklist, and I tend to multitask TV with other activities that don't use a lot of brainpower, eg doing dishes, folding the washing, ironing, etc. I have a crosstrainer setup in front of the TV so I can exercise and do TV as well.
I don't watch TV all night, because there's tasks that really aren't TV compatible, and need proper focus, like helping my son with his homework.
If it were up to me I would turn off the TV except for maybe an hour a night but my husband wouldn't like that.
Try doing things with your kids, plan some routine activities or projects you can do with them.
My family would have a mutiny!
I have a weeknight checklist, and I tend to multitask TV with other activities that don't use a lot of brainpower, eg doing dishes, folding the washing, ironing, etc. I have a crosstrainer setup in front of the TV so I can exercise and do TV as well.
I don't watch TV all night, because there's tasks that really aren't TV compatible, and need proper focus, like helping my son with his homework.
If it were up to me I would turn off the TV except for maybe an hour a night but my husband wouldn't like that.
Try doing things with your kids, plan some routine activities or projects you can do with them.
I hear your pain
I, too, live an hour away from a city! I commit to one class a week then take a bit of time off. That way I am not driving in every single week.
What I would suggest is learning something that you can then practise on your own during the week. What sort of things are you into currently?
I, too, live an hour away from a city! I commit to one class a week then take a bit of time off. That way I am not driving in every single week.
What I would suggest is learning something that you can then practise on your own during the week. What sort of things are you into currently?
Though I can have plenty of time I'm not into anything currently... I can't think of anything that would make me say 'wow'. That is the problem. I think there would be no TV should I have some sort of a hobby or activity I'm interested in... And I don't have any activities for my family time so this time turns into TV watching as well.
Cpu_Modern
Registered
I can only emphasize this. I was raised without TV in the house and while I owned several TVs during my lifetime I mostly did without. From my perspective the not so good results of TV imprignation on humans is very apparent. There are people (from all social classes) you just notice they were raised by the TV, they have the odor of the sisters of Homer Simpson and this is sad in many ways, IMO at least.Suelin23;93244 said:
I believe the youtubish modell of constantly choosing what to watch next is a much more healthy way to do TV.
Also people complain about bad sleep patterns while watching hours of TV, which means "living" through hours of traumatic experiences (somebody gets killed by a zombie 'shock' , congress can't decide 'fear for job') without having time to process mentally and process emotionally. No wonder you can't sleep.
You live between the wonders of nature? Beautiful! In my eyes you already won have of life. (I have the noise of a highway and construction works in the background, that sucks.)Soland said:
What about:
- a garden full of roses
- have small cattle
- build a workshop or amusement park for city dwellers
- brew your own beer or vodka
- build a soccer field and organize tournaments
- build tools for farmers
- raise rabbits and other stuff for a restaurant in the city
- make a radio station/podcast for your local community
- pottery, don't forget pottery!
- build a museum
- make short movies on animals and put them on YouTube
- go to city hall and help out, get into local politics for fun
- help kids from troubled families with homework
- help people who help other people
- organize a rallye for a car club
- write a blog about finding your passion in life
- just ask your kids
- what about coaching kids in some sport? most coaches throw bad tempers to the kids which is bad, maybe you have potential to do it better/relaxed?
- play boardgames with kids and others, see boardgamegeek.com for good choices
- invent a new religion
- build furniture
- make comedy about a guy who doesn't know what to do
- call people you did bad things to in the past and apologize, see where this goes
- paintings, paintings, paintings
Oogiem
Registered
Put the TV on a system with an exercise bike so you have to bike to make the electricity to watch it. At least you'll get moving and that is also self limiting in how much you watch.
I can't really fathom not being interested in anything other than TV though!
For me the issue is I'm interested in way too many things, here's a sampling of things I do just from my current projects list
weaving, spinning, knitting, scrapbooks, photography, genealogy research, historical research, reading novels, writing novels, genetics research, naalbinding, sewing historical clothing, sewing modern clothing, leather working, target shooting, museum cataloging, weight lifting and yoga.
And if I include the things on my someday/maybe list you can add
learn calligraphy, learn how to bind books, learn to speak Welsh fluently, hike to the top of a fourteener, board member of several associations I care about, learn proper knife skills, learn more charceuterie (sp?), draw cartoons, learn needlepoint, learn simple woodworking, pen & ink drawing, learn to shoot skeet, clean my fossil collection for museum style display, write a screenplay, weaving clothing fabric then sewing the clothing, quilting, write an app for farm data collection for mobile computers, convert our old vinyl records to digital files, digitize historical photos, do more puzzles, build a solar oven, and so on.
There are thousands of fun and interesting things to do so start looking at something and find one that you can try instead of TV!
I'd make a point of trying to do one thing new each week or at least month until you find something that appeals to you to do more than one of.
I can't really fathom not being interested in anything other than TV though!
For me the issue is I'm interested in way too many things, here's a sampling of things I do just from my current projects list
weaving, spinning, knitting, scrapbooks, photography, genealogy research, historical research, reading novels, writing novels, genetics research, naalbinding, sewing historical clothing, sewing modern clothing, leather working, target shooting, museum cataloging, weight lifting and yoga.
And if I include the things on my someday/maybe list you can add
learn calligraphy, learn how to bind books, learn to speak Welsh fluently, hike to the top of a fourteener, board member of several associations I care about, learn proper knife skills, learn more charceuterie (sp?), draw cartoons, learn needlepoint, learn simple woodworking, pen & ink drawing, learn to shoot skeet, clean my fossil collection for museum style display, write a screenplay, weaving clothing fabric then sewing the clothing, quilting, write an app for farm data collection for mobile computers, convert our old vinyl records to digital files, digitize historical photos, do more puzzles, build a solar oven, and so on.
There are thousands of fun and interesting things to do so start looking at something and find one that you can try instead of TV!
I'd make a point of trying to do one thing new each week or at least month until you find something that appeals to you to do more than one of.
Some information?
Would you share with us some of your personal info? I am not trying to be nosy, I think that it could help.
For example, what is your marital status and how old are your children?
How is your GTD system working for you?
I am probably not the best example of someone who is excellent with GTD. I have a chronic fatigue type situation and doing a lot is difficult. This is why I ask how yours is going. I see that you're a newbie to this forum, are you also a GTD newbie?
Are you truly not that interested in things or are you overwhelmed?
I have been 'into' GTD for over a year now and I still don't have a functioning system up and running. I have been especially out of the loop the last three months due to injuries. I have a thing of only doing one thing per day and that is helping.
If you're overwhelmed then sometimes the easiest thing to do is ignore everything and watch tv. I often do this with movies or craft clips when I am sore and overwhelmed.
Just doing one thing a day has helped me move forward significantly yet I don't have as much pressure on me. GTD also made me aware that I was bringing too much into my life so I have downsized my commitments and that has brought a lot of relief.
The other thing to consider is depression. What do you eat for dinner each night? Are you eating well or just whatever you can find? Healthy 'clean' food with help you feel better and have more energy. When I gave up wheat and dairy I finally had a brain that could think clearly! When I did an allergy test I was allergic to these and a few other things. Perhaps doing an online nutrition course? Incluse your children in meal prep if they're old enough.
How is your house? If things are out of control, messy, cluttered etc then the first project I would suggest is flylady.net. Go there, have a poke around and see if anything grabs you. She has a fantastic website that helps you learn skills that will help you in all areas of life. She breaks people into two categories - those who get sidetracked and those who were born organised. I am one who gets sidetracked lol.
So I hope that helped some. Please if you can, answer my questions. If you feel uncomfortable answering here then feel free to private message me. I have a passion for helping people live their best lives and I have pulled myself out of a tv watching funk already so I may have some wisdom or inspire in some way.
Allie x
Would you share with us some of your personal info? I am not trying to be nosy, I think that it could help.
For example, what is your marital status and how old are your children?
How is your GTD system working for you?
I am probably not the best example of someone who is excellent with GTD. I have a chronic fatigue type situation and doing a lot is difficult. This is why I ask how yours is going. I see that you're a newbie to this forum, are you also a GTD newbie?
Are you truly not that interested in things or are you overwhelmed?
I have been 'into' GTD for over a year now and I still don't have a functioning system up and running. I have been especially out of the loop the last three months due to injuries. I have a thing of only doing one thing per day and that is helping.
If you're overwhelmed then sometimes the easiest thing to do is ignore everything and watch tv. I often do this with movies or craft clips when I am sore and overwhelmed.
Just doing one thing a day has helped me move forward significantly yet I don't have as much pressure on me. GTD also made me aware that I was bringing too much into my life so I have downsized my commitments and that has brought a lot of relief.
The other thing to consider is depression. What do you eat for dinner each night? Are you eating well or just whatever you can find? Healthy 'clean' food with help you feel better and have more energy. When I gave up wheat and dairy I finally had a brain that could think clearly! When I did an allergy test I was allergic to these and a few other things. Perhaps doing an online nutrition course? Incluse your children in meal prep if they're old enough.
How is your house? If things are out of control, messy, cluttered etc then the first project I would suggest is flylady.net. Go there, have a poke around and see if anything grabs you. She has a fantastic website that helps you learn skills that will help you in all areas of life. She breaks people into two categories - those who get sidetracked and those who were born organised. I am one who gets sidetracked lol.
So I hope that helped some. Please if you can, answer my questions. If you feel uncomfortable answering here then feel free to private message me. I have a passion for helping people live their best lives and I have pulled myself out of a tv watching funk already so I may have some wisdom or inspire in some way.
Allie x
Barb
Registered
Hmmm
Perhaps you just come home from work and you're tired and tv is mindless so you gravitate toward that. Or you are a little bored and tv is just interesting to you. The reasons why you may do it only you know. But I do think that feeling you want to be seen as more active by your children isn't likely to get you to change much of anything.
So if you were to dream up a different life for yourself, would that new life include watching tv? If you honestly love it that much, don't "should" all over yourself...just enjoy it and quit feeling guilty about it. Now if, on the other hand, you truly would like to be more "active", then make an adult decision and figure out what "more active" would look like to you. Brainstorm some ideas...maybe get the kids involved. But you're getting something out of watching tv or you wouldn't be doing it.
Perhaps you just come home from work and you're tired and tv is mindless so you gravitate toward that. Or you are a little bored and tv is just interesting to you. The reasons why you may do it only you know. But I do think that feeling you want to be seen as more active by your children isn't likely to get you to change much of anything.
So if you were to dream up a different life for yourself, would that new life include watching tv? If you honestly love it that much, don't "should" all over yourself...just enjoy it and quit feeling guilty about it. Now if, on the other hand, you truly would like to be more "active", then make an adult decision and figure out what "more active" would look like to you. Brainstorm some ideas...maybe get the kids involved. But you're getting something out of watching tv or you wouldn't be doing it.
enyonam
Registered
Search the internet - there are TONS of hobby lists out there.
what inspires you?
what do you end up watching on TV ... maybe there's a hobby idea in there.
maybe it's time just to pick an activity with your kids that they enjoy and do that instead.
start slow, just do that activity one day a week. you can even watch TV the other days instead of going cold turkey.
if you're so used to watching TV you may just have to get started on an activity and try it for a while before you start getting inspired. give new things a chance. i'm sure you'll at the very least find out find out quickly what you don't like.
what inspires you?
what do you end up watching on TV ... maybe there's a hobby idea in there.
maybe it's time just to pick an activity with your kids that they enjoy and do that instead.
start slow, just do that activity one day a week. you can even watch TV the other days instead of going cold turkey.
if you're so used to watching TV you may just have to get started on an activity and try it for a while before you start getting inspired. give new things a chance. i'm sure you'll at the very least find out find out quickly what you don't like.
Soland;93256 said:Good ideas! Though I'm still not inspired
BjornLjunggren
Registered
Buy a new TV/Screen
My suggestion is:
1. Buy a new TV that you can connect to your computer
2. Don't hook up your TV box to your new screen
So now the choice is yours, you can watch whatever YOU want and not what is scheduled programming. It's all on the internet anway.
Life is good
My suggestion is:
1. Buy a new TV that you can connect to your computer
2. Don't hook up your TV box to your new screen
So now the choice is yours, you can watch whatever YOU want and not what is scheduled programming. It's all on the internet anway.
Life is good
Duckienz, I'm ready to share the information.
I'm married. Have a wife and a daughter (8 yo).
I eat healthy everyday. Way too healthy My cook at home prepares different meals daily so it's not only healthy but very tasty as well.
I have a lady who looks after our house: cleans, washes etc. I don't have to do anything in regards to that. My time could be devoted to whatever I like. My time at home is free of any housework.
Duckienz;93267 said:
I'm married. Have a wife and a daughter (8 yo).
Duckienz;93267 said:
I eat healthy everyday. Way too healthy
My cook at home prepares different meals daily so it's not only healthy but very tasty as well.Duckienz;93267 said:
I have a lady who looks after our house: cleans, washes etc. I don't have to do anything in regards to that. My time could be devoted to whatever I like. My time at home is free of any housework.
Barb;93269 said:
Barb, sure I come home tired as all of us. And I have to make a decision to be active at home instead of sitting hours in front of TV screen. I know I can be active and live without it. When we go for a vacation I don't have time for TV there. We swim, play, learn, whatever but no TV. And I feel happy. Unfortunately we don't have a sea where we live. I'd like to have a passion I can share with my small one.
ccoleman99
Registered
I don't watch any tv at this point in my life, but I think I can relate to what you're facing. The reason nothing else seems interesting is because you're not doing any of those things, so you don't realize how interesting they could be. Here's my suggestion:
1. Decide that you will not watch tv.
2. If you cannot think of anything else to do, then do nothing at all.
3. No matter how bored you feel, do not watch tv.
4. Eventually, you will decide to do something else to escape the boredom.
5. You will then discover that doing those other things is more interesting than you thought it would be.
The key step is number 3. Accept the fact that you will have to go through an unpleasant period of time when you'll be faced with having time on your hands with nothing to do that seems worthwhile. Once you've lived through it, you'll be glad you did.
1. Decide that you will not watch tv.
2. If you cannot think of anything else to do, then do nothing at all.
3. No matter how bored you feel, do not watch tv.
4. Eventually, you will decide to do something else to escape the boredom.
5. You will then discover that doing those other things is more interesting than you thought it would be.
The key step is number 3. Accept the fact that you will have to go through an unpleasant period of time when you'll be faced with having time on your hands with nothing to do that seems worthwhile. Once you've lived through it, you'll be glad you did.
Jamie Elis
Registered
maybe you need a plan to move to a sea!
You said the key thing yourself that lets you be the person you really want to be, access to a a sea. Can you make a three year or five year plan to move where there is a sea you can play in everyday or at least on the days off? Even if you ended up in a remote fishing village, if you could frolic in the ocean after work, you might be happy. MAYBE YOU NEED A JOB THAT INVOLVES THE OCEAN! Some people are just more influenced in their happiness and productivity by where they live than others. I cannot imagine certain kinds of writers. like Jimmy Breslin or Norman Mailer being happy living in a small cornfield-surrounded town that has no library, no movie house. Would a happy and successful crop farmer who loves to hunt and fish be happy in Manhattan? So my advice is that you dump that telly-time for time to make an action plan to get yourself to the place that makes you happy. I met a cab driver in Miami who gave up a football scholarship at a very decent mid-western university after he went to Florida on a spring break with his friends and fell in love with sunshine and palms trees. He went back to school to finish out his year's obligation, took the first job he could that he thought he could withstand. Five years later, he is perfectly happy to live "small" . He life long goal is to own a cab and concierge company exactly where he is living now. So he drives his cab, goes to business classes, and is looking for a job to manage something to get more experience. He did have youth on his side and no kids or spouse. But, sometimes, having those responsibilities can make a person plan more carefully. I have a friend whose promotion to a more demanding and better paying job made her husband think through his work--he sold his small business to an employee and is a stay at home Dad with a weekend handyman business on the side. He and the whole family are really happy.
You said the key thing yourself that lets you be the person you really want to be, access to a a sea. Can you make a three year or five year plan to move where there is a sea you can play in everyday or at least on the days off? Even if you ended up in a remote fishing village, if you could frolic in the ocean after work, you might be happy. MAYBE YOU NEED A JOB THAT INVOLVES THE OCEAN! Some people are just more influenced in their happiness and productivity by where they live than others. I cannot imagine certain kinds of writers. like Jimmy Breslin or Norman Mailer being happy living in a small cornfield-surrounded town that has no library, no movie house. Would a happy and successful crop farmer who loves to hunt and fish be happy in Manhattan? So my advice is that you dump that telly-time for time to make an action plan to get yourself to the place that makes you happy. I met a cab driver in Miami who gave up a football scholarship at a very decent mid-western university after he went to Florida on a spring break with his friends and fell in love with sunshine and palms trees. He went back to school to finish out his year's obligation, took the first job he could that he thought he could withstand. Five years later, he is perfectly happy to live "small" . He life long goal is to own a cab and concierge company exactly where he is living now. So he drives his cab, goes to business classes, and is looking for a job to manage something to get more experience. He did have youth on his side and no kids or spouse. But, sometimes, having those responsibilities can make a person plan more carefully. I have a friend whose promotion to a more demanding and better paying job made her husband think through his work--he sold his small business to an employee and is a stay at home Dad with a weekend handyman business on the side. He and the whole family are really happy.