I was really hoping for a lot more concrete ideas on constraints and how to manage them.
I want to double back to this relevant question about constraints.
I was on hold on the phone for almost an hour this morning with an insurance company before hanging up in frustration. In that moment, I was hard-pressed to re-frame the dreaded task (truly a constraint) of calling the insurance company; it was a telephone call I routinely have to make as part of my work as a psychologist that often ends in the frustration of not getting the information I need.
My approach with constraints--and what I suggested to you all on Thursday in the webinar--is to turn the constraint into leverage for success by finding within the dreaded next action something important or valuable.
In the 1.25
sheet I'll be distributing, you are instructed to identify what you cherish in the dreaded task. The experiential, relaxing portion of the process is two parts: getting in touch in the moment with how you feel about the task and how you feel about what you believe in. Then you apply the energy, the felt experience, of what you believe in to move forward.
That act of finding the meaning in the task, ideally, opens you both intuitively and rationally. That upbeat mood increases your cognitive flexibility and the likelihood that you'll find a novel solution to or a novel experience of the task. In empirical studies, I won't cite them here, there is a suggestion that anxiety and other unpleasant emotions hinder creativity and creative problem-solving whereas openness and flexibility aid them.
In the case of calling the insurance company, I got in touch with how I wanted to give my patient the most accurate, detailed information on his benefits, which would help him to budget accurately for the psychotherapy. From there, I relaxed, opened, got in touch with my own reason for being a psychotherapist and figured out another way to communicate, or even create, that safety without calling the insurance company. This seemed to give me the well-being and the forward movement, the sense of effectiveness, I desired. --Suzanne