I am an estate planning attorney, and so a large portion of my work is meeting with clients to learn of their intentions, family members, assets, etc.
I mentally divide my intake meeting into three sections.
The first section takes about 10 minutes. I do not have pen and paper. I make good eye contact and talk to the client about who they are and how it is they came to be in front of me. This is where I form a bond, encourage trust, and communicate that I am all ears.
In the second section I open a folio, grab a pen, and grab an intake questionaire and retainer agreement. This section takes about an hour. During this time I am furiously writing notes, but pausing at the end of each section to re-engage eye contact, and assess whether the client is comfortable with their decisions, or whether they need further eplanation, exploration, or suggestions.
In the third section I say that I think we are about done. I close the folio. I put the pen away. I say that wasn't so bad was it. I explain the steps going forward. I tell them about how long it will take. I ask if there are any questions. Then I converse with the client for as long as they like in order to leave with a feeling of trust and comfort.
While this is primarily an information-exchange meeting, if I do not do the first 10 minutes, then the client will never be comfortable enough to open up to me and give me the information that I need. Also, if I do not do the lasts 10-20 minute section, then the client will leave with concern, uncertainty, and a shadow of doubt as to whether I actually understand them.
Incidentally, I used to do the information-exchange portion of the meeting with my laptop computer, however the screen between myself and the client created a social barrier that prevented efficient information exchange.
These principles are not just true for my specific circumstance. In any meeting, in any area of our life, we go through the same three steps. Being conscious of them prevents us from short-circuiting or rushing one of the phases and ultimately creates a stronger bond at the outset, better information exchange, and a stronger bond at the close.
Even telephone calls follow this pattern:
1) Hi how are you, long time no talk, how is the family
2) The reason I called is becasuse...
3) It was great talking to you, I'll talk to you soon, I look forward to seeing you soon, goodbye.
A long post for just $.02.