Prompts to remind me personal details about people I am contacting

[ivanjay205]

Hi everyone. Thanks in advance for your help. I am an executive in a firm and my daily schedule is quite busy. Typically 2 hours of work in the morning and straight meetings throughout the remainder of the day with a few short breaks in between. I interact with lots of vendors, clients, and colleagues. One struggle I have is admittedly I am a very laser focused business minded individual. I sometimes fail to remember peoples personal information, how many kids they have and their names, recent trips to spur conversation, sports interests, etc. Basically any type of personal information that can help me bond and make small talk with people. I do value that a lot as I think it is important to build the relationship and show people I care.

But, and this will sound like I dont, it is very hard for me to mentally keep track of all of this, recall information, and start on the softer side of conversation.

Has anyone come across any tools, software, apps, outlook plugins etc so when I contact someone in emails, teams, maybe a text or even see someone in a meeting I can quickly and easy pull up such information? Obviously I know I would need to build the information but it would be a great help.

Almost how GTD allows agendas to present information about people in terms of waiting for and next actions, I need that/virtual personal assistant to present the items to me.

 

[Mrs-Polifax]

Hi, @ivanjay.

I agree that people appreciate it and feel good when we remember their names and perhaps certain details of their personal lives that matter to them. It would help to have a fast and easy way to bring these details to mind.

I read "Sidetracked Home Executives," a book by two sisters about the challenges of caring for a home. They were embarrassed to write letters to their circle of friends because they could not remember the important details of their friends' lives. They were uncertain how to spell a name, or they could not recall the names of their friend's kids or dog, or it had slipped their minds how old the child was now for which they had once received a birth announcement. How embarrassing! They did not have a good memory for these details, but they cared a lot about their friends.

They got fed up with this embarrassing problem, and they established a system similar to the one you are describing. They did it by using 3x5 cards (this was before the digital age). They entered any information that came their way, so they could have it at their fingertips. They could then quickly and easily find whatever personal information they had entered before they made a phone call, wrote a letter, or went for a visit.

I hear that a digital tool is preferable for you, since it would probably need to be fast, portable, and instantly accessible. I have been attending an organizing course where Evernote has been recommended as being a highly searchable digital tool. A person's name could be associated with details about the person. I believe it is done by creating a tag, and then attaching the tag to bits of related information, and then searching for the tag. I think you are going to need a very fast program that gives you what you need instantly, yet you will continue to build more and more content, so you will likely want a very agile and responsive program that does not slow down as the data expands.

Have you considered what your method would be of searching for something you do not remember? I think it is worthwhile to consider how you would find what you need in your digital system, since this may guide you to the kind of software you need. For instance, if you are at a meeting right now, and you want to remember the name of that man over there with the full beard, but unfortunately you do not recall it, what would your method be of finding that man's name in your database?

Perhaps you might look up the meeting you are attending in your software program, and you might find there a list you had entered of the meeting attendees, and you might recognize the correct name once you saw it. But maybe you do not recognize the name, or maybe the man is a guest or a customer or someone in your company who is not a regular attendee. In that case, perhaps you could create a photo database, so you could associate people's names with their photos. You will need to design your digital system to work for you.

A long time ago, I recall seeing a photo database, but I don't recall the name. I loved it. It was probably an Apple program because it was beautiful and legible. One could customize the design for whatever fields one wanted to include. It had a field for a photo of the person and a field for each detail about that person. One could enter their dog's name, their their cat's name, their kids names and ages, their recent trip to Bali, their photography hobby, their favorite restaurant, and anything else one could learn about them and enter, and it looked magnificent.

I recommend that you look into the memory system devised by Jose Silva for the original courses in Silva Mind Control in about the 1950's. Learning how to remember things better could be one aspect of your plan. This involves two major things: (1) learning and practicing how to go to the alpha level of mind, which is a relaxed level of mind between sleeping and waking, so memories can be recalled at that level, and (2) learning a system of visualization that associates any item you would like to remember with a unique visual image you create that is compelling, amusing, or absurd, and thus is memorable.

Best wishes in finding the digital program you want.

Warmly,

Mrs-Polifax

 

[mcogilvie]

What you are describing is a personal CRM system. I remember trying to bend a few of these into useful tools. As an over-broad generalization, they require a lot of dedication to use at all, and are mostly quite bad, IMHO. One of the less awful alternatives is to use the notes field in whatever contacts app you use to store occasional data, and occasionally look at it. If you develop that as a habit, then you’re good.

 

[ivanjay205]

Hi, @ivanjay.

I agree that people appreciate it and feel good when we remember their names and perhaps certain details of their personal lives that matter to them. It would help to have a fast and easy way to bring these details to mind.

I read "Sidetracked Home Executives," a book by two sisters about the challenges of caring for a home. They were embarrassed to write letters to their circle of friends because they could not remember the important details of their friends' lives. They were uncertain how to spell a name, or they could not recall the names of their friend's kids or dog, or it had slipped their minds how old the child was now for which they had once received a birth announcement. How embarrassing! They did not have a good memory for these details, but they cared a lot about their friends.

They got fed up with this embarrassing problem, and they established a system similar to the one you are describing. They did it by using 3x5 cards (this was before the digital age). They entered any information that came their way, so they could have it at their fingertips. They could then quickly and easily find whatever personal information they had entered before they made a phone call, wrote a letter, or went for a visit.

I hear that a digital tool is preferable for you, since it would probably need to be fast, portable, and instantly accessible. I have been attending an organizing course where Evernote has been recommended as being a highly searchable digital tool. A person's name could be associated with details about the person. I believe it is done by creating a tag, and then attaching the tag to bits of related information, and then searching for the tag. I think you are going to need a very fast program that gives you what you need instantly, yet you will continue to build more and more content, so you will likely want a very agile and responsive program that does not slow down as the data expands.

Have you considered what your method would be of searching for something you do not remember? I think it is worthwhile to consider how you would find what you need in your digital system, since this may guide you to the kind of software you need. For instance, if you are at a meeting right now, and you want to remember the name of that man over there with the full beard, but unfortunately you do not recall it, what would your method be of finding that man's name in your database?

Perhaps you might look up the meeting you are attending in your software program, and you might find there a list you had entered of the meeting attendees, and you might recognize the correct name once you saw it. But maybe you do not recognize the name, or maybe the man is a guest or a customer or someone in your company who is not a regular attendee. In that case, perhaps you could create a photo database, so you could associate people's names with their photos. You will need to design your digital system to work for you.

A long time ago, I recall seeing a photo database, but I don't recall the name. I loved it. It was probably an Apple program because it was beautiful and legible. One could customize the design for whatever fields one wanted to include. It had a field for a photo of the person and a field for each detail about that person. One could enter their dog's name, their their cat's name, their kids names and ages, their recent trip to Bali, their photography hobby, their favorite restaurant, and anything else one could learn about them and enter, and it looked magnificent.

I recommend that you look into the memory system devised by Jose Silva for the original courses in Silva Mind Control in about the 1950's. Learning how to remember things better could be one aspect of your plan. This involves two major things: (1) learning and practicing how to go to the alpha level of mind, which is a relaxed level of mind between sleeping and waking, so memories can be recalled at that level, and (2) learning a system of visualization that associates any item you would like to remember with a unique visual image you create that is compelling, amusing, or absurd, and thus is memorable.

Best wishes in finding the digital program you want.

Warmly,

Mrs-Polifax

Thank you so much for the help. Years ago I used a tool called Xobni which was discontinued. It was an Outlook plugin and opened a side panel in whatever Outlook screen I was in (calendar, email, or contact) to show me this details. I loved that idea. To me that is the best solution. So if I am reading an email it automatically gives me this information next to me. If I walk into a meeting I can open the calendar invite and be presented with this information. This way in some ways it can predict when I need it and present it to me.

 

[ivanjay205]

What you are describing is a personal CRM system. I remember trying to bend a few of these into useful tools. As an over-broad generalization, they require a lot of dedication to use at all, and are mostly quite bad, IMHO. One of the less awful alternatives is to use the notes field in whatever contacts app you use to store occasional data, and occasionally look at it. If you develop that as a habit, then you’re good.

Thanks, this is what I do today... The notes field in Outlook. But it takes a bit to get there so I end up not going there

 

[TesTeq]

Has anyone come across any tools, software, apps, outlook plugins etc so when I contact someone in emails, teams, maybe a text or even see someone in a meeting I can quickly and easy pull up such information? Obviously I know I would need to build the information but it would be a great help.

The notes field in Outlook. But it takes a bit to get there so I end up not going there

@ivanjay205 Sorry but it looks like a contradiction. You look for a tool and you have a tool at your fingertips. IMHO you can't find anything easier to use than the notes field in your current contact tool. I use iPhone contacts for this purpose.

 

[mksilk2]

@ivanjay205 Sorry but it looks like a contradiction. You look for a tool and you have a tool at your fingertips. IMHO you can't find anything easier to use than the notes field in your current contact tool. I use iPhone contacts for this purpose.

I agree with you TesTeq. The question is not which tool, but how do you engage with the tool. Any tool can work for you as a note taker, reference keeper, or one that has reminders etc. But you must choose to engage with the tool. At some point one must engage (as in the last of the five CCORE steps) with the work. This can be easy to say and yet hard to do. I am guilty at times of this.

 

[Mrs-Polifax]

Thank you so much for the help. Years ago I used a tool called Xobni which was discontinued. It was an Outlook plugin and opened a side panel in whatever Outlook screen I was in (calendar, email, or contact) to show me this details. I loved that idea. To me that is the best solution. So if I am reading an email it automatically gives me this information next to me. If I walk into a meeting I can open the calendar invite and be presented with this information. This way in some ways it can predict when I need it and present it to me.

I empathize with the longing for discontinued or unavailable programs that were uniquely useful. I looked up "Xobni." It sounded familiar that it spells "Inbox" backwards, so I must have run into that. It sounds like it was tremendously fast and could find a contact or an email or a calendar item instantly and present you with the information you needed in the right context. No wonder the notes field of Outlook doesn't attract you after your experience of Xobni. According to the GTD Focus coaches, being attracted to one's system is important.

Since you use Outlook, I suppose you've read about the 2024 change to Outlook that's being previewed now. I have an Outlook calendar with that little slider device at the top right to allow me to preview the new version, so I tried it, but it didn't work. I read that some don't work yet.

Getting started with the new Outlook for Windows - Microsoft Support

Get started with the new Outlook for Windows by joining Office Insiders. You'll get a first look at the newest version of Outlook and you can give feedback to help improve it.

support.microsoft.com

I hope you find something you like. Maybe you'd be happier with an Apple product. When I see a program I like, usually it's an Apple program.

 

[schmeggahead]

The question is not which tool, but how do you engage with the tool.

This sounds like something that would prompt me to add something to my daily preparation while looking at the calendar of meetings each day.
I would probably start small and look at my Monday activities in preparation for the week. Each person you are meeting with, examine the information about each. Sometimes just reading it the day before is enough to remember.

The other aspect of this is establishing a sort of muscle memory about how to easily get to the contact information.

The next step is the wrap-up of the day's notes while processing them. The key will be to update those notes in the contacts from your meetings that day. More muscle memory and you'll be doing this as a reflex when those moments happen throughout the day to capture into IN the new information about each person.

The key trap here is that actionable things might end up in those contact comments. If you are unsure, put them into IN first.

Hope this helps,
Clayton

Small things done consistently in strategic places have major impact. - David Allen.

 

[Mrs-Polifax]

Hello again, @ivanjay205.

I noticed that people in another thread recommend Facile Things. I read that it is an online program that can be connected to your calendar and email, such as Outlook, and also to Evernote (which I hear is a highly searchable reference system). Facile Things is a program designed for GTD. Here's a link, in case you want to check it out:

Get Organized Effectively. Without Stress

FacileThings: The Ultimate Solution to Get Things Done

facilethings.com

 

[Oogiem]

Has anyone come across any tools, software, apps, outlook plugins etc so when I contact someone in emails, teams, maybe a text or even see someone in a meeting I can quickly and easy pull up such information?

You are describing a Farley File. The tool doesn't matter, it can be paper, orthe notes field of a contact app or a personal assistance. The key is in consulting it whenever you can and certainly before any meetings or phone calls.

 

[Mrs-Polifax]

You are describing a Farley File.

Thank you, Oogiem! This is interesting! Everyone, I looked up a Farley file on Wikipedia. Here's a quote:

"A Farley file is a set of records kept by politicians on people whom they have met.

The term is named for James Farley, Franklin Roosevelt's campaign manager. Farley, who went on to become Postmaster General and chairman of the Democratic National Committee, kept a file on everyone he or Roosevelt met.

Whenever people were scheduled to meet again with Roosevelt, Farley would review their files. That allowed Roosevelt to meet them again while knowing their spouse, their children's names and ages, and anything else that had come out of earlier meetings or any other intelligence that Farley had added to the file. The effect was powerful and intimate.

Farley files are now commonly kept by other politicians and businesspeople."

 

[ianfh10]

I don't have a role that's client-focussed, but I use Tiago Forte's PARA/second brain system for what GTD would term reference and action/project support. It's really useful because it essentially replicates GTD but for information i.e. organises information in terms of actionability.

It emphasises using a notes app (agnostic as to the actual app used but for my role, where I'm locked into MS 365, I use OneNote) and structuring the system by Projects, Areas, Resources and Archive (and the projects and areas map nicely with GTD's concepts).

Each project could have its own client note where you store these details, or you could have an Area labelled client details or contact details, which you could pull up as required, though you'd need a way to ensure the note you're surfacing can be easily retrieved when required.

Personally I'd probably keep those details in the project they're related to. I'd also recommend adding a step to your weekly review where you review the note that contains the contact details to ensure they're present and up to date in the project.

You can read Forte's blog/YouTube for the methodology, or his book 'building a second brain' is more comprehensive. He also has another book coming out this month that focuses on the PARA system itself, which is just one aspect of the Second Brain methodology.

 

[gtdstudente]

What you are describing is a personal CRM system. I remember trying to bend a few of these into useful tools. As an over-broad generalization, they require a lot of dedication to use at all, and are mostly quite bad, IMHO. One of the less awful alternatives is to use the notes field in whatever contacts app you use to store occasional data, and occasionally look at it. If you develop that as a habit, then you’re good.

On this end, digital 'Contact App' = Spreadsheet with Two or more Rows between each "Contact" for reduced 'numbness'

Ps. Seeing all of the potential additional capacity adds to the 'trust' factor as well certainty that many 'Apps' will come and go while the Spreadsheet from the 1980s is still going strong after more than forty years

 

[René Lie]

On this end, digital 'Contact App' = Spreadsheet with Two or more Rows between each "Contact" for reduced 'numbness'

Ps. Seeing all of the potential additional capacity adds to the 'trust' factor as well certainty that many 'Apps' will come and go while the Spreadsheet from the 1980s is still going strong after more than forty years

As I said in the interview with @John Forrister: you should always have an exit strategy...

And you have a good point - spreadsheets have survived for a long time!

 

[cfoley]

Has anyone come across any tools, software, apps, outlook plugins etc so when I contact someone in emails, teams, maybe a text or even see someone in a meeting I can quickly and easy pull up such information? Obviously I know I would need to build the information but it would be a great help.

I've been thinking about this a lot since you posted your question. The problem with tools like this is that they tend to last only a short time before they become unusable in some way. You even mention one that you used to use that has been discontinued.

If you keep this information in your reference system and practice getting really good at looking things up, then that capability is with you regardless of software. Furthermore, you'll probably spend more time in the reference system and become better at using it for other things.

I find that this philosophy applies in the kitchen too. Instead of getting all the kitchen gadgets, you can choose to improve your skill with a knife.

 

[bishblaize]

CardHop is a decent contacts app replacement for Mac/iOS that has a notes section. If you have a subscription to Fantastical its included with that. Far from a CRM, but I just need something quick and easy that I can drop things into.

I've tried with more complex systems before, but they're just not worth it.

 

[mksilk2]

f you keep this information in your reference system and practice getting really good at looking things up, then that capability is with you regardless of software. Furthermore, you'll probably spend more time in the reference system and become better at using it for other things.

This is the critical statement...a reference system is only useful if you use it...to state the obvious

 

[Oogiem]

On this end, digital 'Contact App' = Spreadsheet with Two or more Rows between each "Contact" for reduced 'numbness'

Ah but sporeadsheets have a series of issues. The infamous and deadly start date problem that can make all dates off if you move the sheet from one operating system to another. Issues with differences in the same spreadshet program across operating systems (I'm looking at you Excel!) and running out of space when you need to add a new fueld for one person or more data than a single sheet can hold. (BTDT with sheep records, which started out as a spreadsheep but evolved into an SQLite Database. I ran out of space on the spreadsheet for individual data within 7 years. )

For an even older and more durable format try plain text files.

For a jazzed up version look at markdown in one flavor or another. Sure the flavors have tools that use them but in the end you can see and read the styling as a human and if need be extract it back.

 

[René Lie]

The infamous and deadly start date problem that can make all dates off if you move the sheet from one operating system to another.

The Excel savvy of course enable the 1904 date format in Excel for Windows to ensure compatibility... But I hear you - and for such reasons, I never use Excel on a Mac!