Is Goal Setting Bad for You?

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I hate to interrupt this thread, but I just printed out and read all 65 pages! It has been facinating and tremendously insightful thanks to the thoughfulness and excellent writing skills of the contributors. This thread should be enshrined somewhere for permanent access by those that are stressed, confused, and frustrated about the progress (or perceived lack of progress) in their lives.

The greatest thing I have come away with is a sense of relief. I feel like I just joined a group that rose on an elevated platform and from that height, observed our "ant" selves running around below and seen how things really are--what's "normal" and the importance of being satisfied with realistic progress in life.

C
 
Goal-setting has been very, very good to me <g>

It has helped me focus on what I should be doing on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis. I set goals in the following categories:

1. Accounting/Bookkeeping

2. Administration

3. Legal

4. Marketing

5. Office/Business Management

6. Producing Goods & Services

These categories correspond to the six major functions of a business. I have my quarterly goals (currently, for Q1 2004) framed and they're sitting right below my computer monitor.

Hope this helps!
 
Choices

DFE said:
But I believe that what I am after is a different thing – a better balance between the things I have to do in life, and the things I want to do.
DFE
Click to expand...

Though I would not recommend to pick or choose anything, there are situations where I want or must choose, make my choice. There are several enemies of choice that can keep one from making the right choice or any choice at all (as far as I can remember I got this list of enemies of choice from Mark Ivar Myhre):

1. Inertia. This occurs either when you are moving and can't stop, or you're stopped and you can't get started again.
2. Projection. This is where you pretend that everybody in your life is somebody else. Usually, every man is 'father' and every woman is 'mother'.
3. Identification. This is where you identify yourself as being someone other than the grown-up you really are. Usually it is identifying yourself as being a child.
4. Boredom. This is a state of progressed inertia, when you are bored with everyone and everything; when you really don't want to think or feel anything.
5. Jealousy that seeks revenge.
6. Worry, guilt, depression (three forms of anger).
7. Self-pity. This is progressed everything. All the enemies of choice eventually end up here.

Regards
Rainer
 
Re: Goal-setting has been very, very good to me <g>

martha said:
It has helped me focus on what I should be doing on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis. I set goals in the following categories:

1. Accounting/Bookkeeping

2. Administration

3. Legal

4. Marketing

5. Office/Business Management

6. Producing Goods & Services

These categories correspond to the six major functions of a business. I have my quarterly goals (currently, for Q1 2004) framed and they're sitting right below my computer monitor.

Hope this helps!
Click to expand...

With the possible exceptions of non-profits and the generally confused, The ONLY function of a business is to maximize the net, after-tax profits of the owners/shareholders....and to do so with integrity, IOW playing the game "straight-up" and without lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Everything else is a necessary evil/means to support that end.

Therefore, your primary/first/main goal should be to generate at least X dollars this quater net, after-tax profits. All the rest are sub/means/supporting goals.

Craig
 
Craig:

I don't agree with your statement. Can you please provide an authority for it?

Andrew
 
Rainer

Thank you, thank you. I thought it was just me! I can readily identify with 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and 7 – how on Earth do these get entwined with work decisions? But they do.

I often get to the end of a day appalled at how little I got done, but also appalled at the state of mind I find myself in.

How could such mundane stuff as my work tie me up into these emotional strait jackets?

I think it is very hard to set our humanity aside for eight hours a day, and silence all our hopes and little paranoias and expectations just to get paper moved. In my case, I believe that as the minutes and hours pass by, a voice inside is shouting louder and louder, “there MUST be more to my life than this!”

In my first post on this thread, I said that goal setting is unnatural because it disturbs our deep down equilibrium. I think work is extremely unnatural in the same way.

I think a day is a like a mini life, and sleep is like a mini death. As the day draws to a close and darkness falls, I become deeply aware of all of the things in life I missed out on that day.

On a different point, your very illuminating list reminded me of another list I came across, which is often useful for dismantling unpleasant states of mind:

“The recent emphasis on Cognitive Therapy has lead to several books cataloging an assortment of toxic ideas or beliefs. For example, Freeman and DeWolf (1992) say the 10 dumbest mistakes are
(1) assuming a catastrophe is about to happen,
(2) thinking we know what other people are thinking (or they should know what we think),
(3) assuming responsibility for other people's troubles or bad moods,
(4) believing too many good things about ourself and our future,
(5) believing too many bad things about ourself and our future,
(6) insisting on being perfect,
(7) competing or comparing with everyone and losing,
(8) worrying about events that never happen,
(9) being abused by our own excessive "shoulds," and
(10) finding the negative aspect of everything good.”

DFE
 
Book

This thread is a good one to spend time reading and pondering on. DF, I too am at the forty-something mark and I think that contributes to my sense of "am I doing what I was put on this planet to do?".

Reading the posts made me think of a book though. Its called "The Answer to How is Yes". The author, Peter Block, points out the self-help scam very concisely and makes the assertion that when our response to life is "Yes" we will figure out the "how?". If our response is "No", we will find endless means of diversion - including self help books!

I am very prone to looking for more information whenever I face a challenge - books, CD's, audiotapes, etc., but Blocks book made me think that I need to think for myself more. Seems a contradiction considering the great value I've gained from this forum string, but I think part of the problem is that we dont often enough think - I mean really think.
I get in the car and immediately turn on the radio or the audiotape. Instead of thinking for myself I listen to someone else think. I should realize that I have this marvelous rolling cocoon in which I can be completely unharrassed for the next 30 minute commute. There are hundreds of things I could think on...
 
DM

Very interesting - I like what Blok is saying.

I have noticed another sort of “No” in my own behaviour. In order to be a responsible grown up parent, I deliberately categorised all of my interests as valueless distractions to be avoided until I got all the important stuff done. I became continually preoccupied with how to get more done in work. (This was not a complete waste of time – my first employer set me a really bad example of how to behave in the business world: he continually tried to find ways to avoid doing work for customers, to blame them wherever possible, and to bill them as much as possible – I had a lot of unlearning to do).

I did this denial for six years. But the simple act of continually stomping on the head of my interests was actually a slow form of suicide. I felt empty all the time. I had cut off my mental vitamin supply. Now I know I have to say “Yes” to my “Self” in order to get happy again.

I know that’s not exactly what Blok is saying. However, I think I had immersed myself in self-help books hoping that they would give me a way to be as happy as I was before I started denying all my own interests ... without actually doing the things that made me happy.

I guess it takes a type of courage to take life full on, to stand up to the corporate planet and be oneself – to be able to believe that I have as much a right as anyone else to be happy, and that there is a time and a place for both work and play.

It ties in with the best Zen book I ever read: Zen Soup by Laurence G. Boldt, which really captures that “living life full-on” feeling.

Regarding thinking for oneself, I find it a real treat to sit down with my list of things to do, and brainstorm some of them. The insights, shortcuts, etc that this can produce are extremely rewarding. The experience can be like taking a new turn on a forest walk that leads to new pleasures.

One of the themes that comes up from time to time in self help books (Tracy and Covey to name but two) is the notion that we might be doing something every day that we think is right but which in fact is a wrong course of action. We have done it for so long that we don’t even think of questioning it.

When I have time to think, I try to think that way, and question some of the fundamental ideas I have about work and personal life. I don't mean that I reinvent myself every weekend, and I don’t obsess about it, but it does yield the occasional light bulb.

For example, why do I retain about three hundred books, whereas others seem to be able to let go a finished book as easily as an empty coke can? I know a lot of people are like me, and regard a book as a personal friend. But are we all inflicted with some mild disorder? Are we edging into obsessive/compulsive territory?

Even asking myself that question is painful, but I know my wife is glad I did. I think her version of normality is tidier than mine. Though I still think the outcome is going to be like that guy who cut off his arm for the greater benefit of getting out from under that boulder …

DFE
 
andmor said:
Craig:

I don't agree with your statement. Can you please provide an authority for it?

Andrew
Click to expand...

Hello Andrew,

I want to thank you for your participation on the board. In working to implement and refine GTD, I have learned and benefited a great deal from your posts.

While I can think of a couple exceptions/special cases related to directly involved owners/investors , I'm curious, in what way or what part of the statement don't you agree with?

Craig
 
DM said:
Its called "The Answer to How is Yes". The author, Peter Block, points out the self-help scam very concisely and makes the assertion that when our response to life is "Yes" we will figure out the "how?". If our response is "No", we will find endless means of diversion - including self help books!
Click to expand...

DM and DFE,

this reminds me of a German book about leadership and organization in the German public sector that I read several years ago. One of the statements in the book (addressed to the wanna-be leader) was "He who demands job performance must give meaning first!".

This statement has been resting in my mind for a long time and the other day I came up with the project to use this statement to develop a way for better self-motivation. I am thinking about setting up a routine for myself that might go like this:

1. Appreciation
Appreciate your past, your achievements. Ask yourself: What do your results (achievements, outcomes, successes) mean to you? What do they mean to other persons? What can you learn from your results?
2. Motivation
What are the present meaning and the future meaning of your results? Connect these to positive feelings that motivate you to do new work. Imaging future results. Set a short-term goal. Update your project list and your next actions list.
3. Preparation
Set the stage for your new project, clean your desk, your computer hard drive, de-clutter your office and your home. Learn about your new project, collect information. Try to build up a positive inner tension to get started.
4. Production (Action)
Grasp the opportunity to start a new project, the project you have prepared for. Relax the inner tension by doing the work. Let your creativity flow. Complete your task.

This outline is still very bumpy but I feel that this could be a way for me to improve my self-motivation.

What do you think?

Rainer
 
Brian Tracy

Anonymous said:
So, if the great Brian Tracy did NOT do all the usual goals-setting stuff - review goals daily, get excited, visualise, mentally rehearse, prioritise ruthlessly, ensure that they conform to the SMART format etc, - and yet still managed to achieve and exceed his goal, then it kinda discredits the whole goal-setter routine doesn’t it?
DFE
Click to expand...

I participate in a site on digital photography, and about once a week they'll be some thread that states, "well, Ansel Adams didn't...."

The implication being that just because he did or didn't, then they should or shouldn't.

Unfortunately, and what most fail to realize, is that THEY are not Ansel Adams. Some people may be naturals in any given field -- but most are not. Those people may in fact succeed, but (discounting luck) they're going to need the skills, tools, and training to do so.

Besides, do you honestly think that Brian Tracy had NO goals? Didn't work towards having his books and tapes in front of a million people? Didn't visualize the advantages his seminars might have, and didn't work to create them?

Brian may not have done the manifestation clap-trap, but I will guarantee you he had goals, and worked towards them. He may be a "natural", who didn't need those supporting skills -- but are you?
 
Craig: While I can think of a couple exceptions/special cases related to directly involved owners/investors , I'm curious, in what way or what part of the statement don't you agree with?

Craig: I wrote a response but it got pretty much OT for GtD, so I thought I would spare the other folks here. If you would click on my profile and leave a message for me with your email adrdress, I'll send you my response.

Thank you for your kind words.

Andrew
 
dhmlco,

Good point.

I suspect that a lot of life-coaching is basically an attempt to enable us to do what Ansel Adams, Michael Jordan, Brain Tracy etc do naturally and without self-analysis.

If it is NOT natural for us lesser mortals, then the next best thing is to have a plan of action to follow which will lead to the same ends.

To do this, someone had to model, or map, the behavioural patterns of successful people.

There is a famous phrase within NLP which goes “the map is not the territory”. We don’t perceive the total picture of life; instead, we all have our own way of mapping life into our heads to help us navigate our way through situations.

Failures have a bad map which details rocky gorges, dead ends, and circuitous routes, and is dark.

The successful have a good map is bright and identifies peaks and destinations.

The Brian Tracy way of doing things is simply a different way of looking at life. The ingredients are the same for most of us: a human body, a human voice, the same number of minutes in a day, the same commercial hunting grounds … but if we can somehow do it in the manner and with the attitude that he did it, it should go better for us.

But I wonder about two fundamental questions:

First, how good a map-maker is he? Are there some vital ingredients missing? Can you REALLY learn optimism?

Second, is it a good thing to try to fit yourself around someone else’s map? Elton John had perfect eyesight as a kid, but he wore glasses to look like his music idol, (Buddy Holly I think). The result? His eyesight went to hell, and then he HAD to wear glasses.

Psychologists study for years, and gradually become experts in what goes on below the surface. Are the Tracy’s of the world sufficiently skilled to enter this territory? Is it enough to pick out a few surface habits and package them as a successful map/personality?

I would love to know if any research has been done on the dangers of adopting the personality of another.

DFE
 
Response

Rainer

I look at your outline and I go glossy - I just dont get that kind of stuff. I know I would never be apt to look at it enough or find it useful enough to use consistently.

It reminds me of mission statements - I write lovely ones and then I go back to work and forget about it. Its probably just me. I guess if you really want to change you have to keep a picture of that change in front of you (successful outcome). Maybe thats why I'm not running the corporation...?

I tend to agree with David Allen about "motivation". He says its about commitment - not motivation. If you wait till you're motivated you wont be. If you're committed to do it regardless of how you feel (motivated or not) you're on to something.

What the heck do I know?

Mark
 
Response to Mark

Mark,

please let me explain. I am working at a large public hospital in Germany (4500 employees). Several months ago our employer (the government) made several major changes regarding the legal regulations and the organisation of this hospital. A supervisory board is to be installed but there is no one in sight yet. The head of the managing board has been dismissed and there is no new head in sight. The fact is: the employer has forced the hospital into a new direction without defining any goals or “successful outcome”. I doubt that any of us 4500 persons knows where we are heading.

The only logical explanation is that the number of employees will be reduced with the remaining personnel having to do more work for the same payment. Maybe several departments will be shut down (downsizing). Fortunately our trade-union has prevented a major disaster (layoffs). A lot of my colleagues are either confused, frustrated, unmotivated, angry or depressed.

You don’t need any motivation if you are committed to do what you want to do or ought to do. And you don’t need any kind of “being organized” when you are committed and successful. But what if you are to do tasks that you are not committed to do and you are not getting paid for?

Compared to many other colleagues I am in a rather good and secure position but I am feeling a slightly rising demand for more job performance already. This brings me back to the statement "He who demands job performance must give meaning first!" and to my pondering about the meaning of my work and motivation.

Hope the reasons for my outline are more clear now.

Rainer
 
Let's get back to goal setting!

DM wrote:
I hope I didnt offend.
Click to expand...
No, you didn't offend. Forget it. :D

But let's get back to goal setting!

Here's a question that I'm not sure about how to answer: In his latest newsletter (the one with the karate belt analogy for GTD) David Allen wrote:

An objective must be 50% believable to motivate action.

You must imagine yourself in a desired scenario to be motivated to create it. So it must be real and believable enough that you can give yourself permission to hold that picture. If you don’t really know what it is or think it’s possible, in your gut, you’ll actually undermine your motivation by creating “I can’t” energy. Turn resistance into attraction by chunking a goal into a clear and doable next potential win that you can already at least taste. Always play a game you know you have the ability to win.

Now , how do you know that an objective or goal is a real and believable one for you?

For me short-term goals are fine, goals for this or next week (next actions for the projects at the 10,000 feet level). But if I haven't turned a longer-term objective or goal into a project (30,000 to 40,000 feet) with several sub-projects and at least one next action to start , well, then things are getting rather vague. That's why I prefer having values and principles when it comes to make a decision regarding an important issue on the 40,000 to 50,000 feet levels. Often I just grap the opportunity for improvement without any goals but based on my values and the principles I stick to.

Rainer
 
goals etc

One of the things that helped me figure out how I could improve the quality of my life was when I was at Canyon Ranch and one of the coaches said close your eyes and visualize what a good day would be. it wasn't a good day in another job or career or different friends, family or interests. It was about how the day would flow, how I would feel while I was waking up, easing into the day, exercising, "being in the zone" while I worked productively, leaving work, reading a book by the fire. I find that its a useful exercise, because otherwise the you can get so overwhelmed by miniuta that the overall picture ie the quality of your life can be secondary. Some days of course are the exact opposite but if you know what you want it to be its easier to self correct. I am self employed so there is more of an element of control.

I also think its a lot easier to have energy and optimism in the spring.
I have mentioned before that a book I really like is the Power of Full engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz. There premise is that managing energy not time is the key to high performance. Relying upon discipline doesnt work but building a small number of rituals into your weekly life can make a huge difference in the energy you bring to all of your life. its based on their work with athletes. I am trying to institute a few rituals, time for exercise, healthy eating and an afternoon cup of tea.
 
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